Admin1: Doctor Gravytee, what is the ultimate purpose of The Theory?
Doctor Gravytee: The Theory has already achieved its fundamental objective.
A1: Which is?
Dr. G: The Theory is infinitely elegant. The Doctors of Alphysics have succeeded in creating the most elegant theory ever. There are no other theory which even comes close to being so elegant. The importance of this fact cannot be underestimated. Since the theory is so elegant the Universe must also be elegant. Therefore, that the Universe we are living in is found to be elegant as predicted by The Theory is one of the strongest experimental evidence that The Theory is correct.
A1: What is the proof that the universe we are living in is elegant?
Dr. G: The elegance of the universe is proved beyond any doubt by a bestseller book. Millions of readers around the globe cannot be wrong.
A1: Is there an objective of The Theory other than being elegantly elegant?
Dr. G: The Theory is the perfect image of the Universe. Elegance is the fundamental scientific quantity that alphysicists discovered in Nature. Therefore if The Theory is correct in its elegance it is also correct in all other details.
A1: Can you give an example?
Dr. G: The standard example is the Standard Model. As opposed to The Theory which is the definition of elegance, Standard Model is the ugliness itself. The reason for this is that Standard Model is an enormous patchwork of epicycles piled on top of each other by older generations of alphysicists in order to save new phenomena they observed in their colliders. In Standard Model you do not see the epicycles because in Standard Model epicycles are not represented geometrically. In the 19th century a French researcher had the brilliant idea of translating geometric epicycles into the language of equations. This was very fortunate because by the 19th century epicycles had acquired a reputation of being unscientific. The clever Doctors of Alphysics of previous generations used epicycles by calling them Fourier Transforms rather than epicycles and the media could not reproach Doctors for using epicycles. Using epicycles had become a scientific crime punisheable by being excommunicated from the academia. Nevertheless epicycles are very useful. They explain the motions of planets and they also explain very well the motions of particles observed in colliders.
A1: Your lecture on epicycles went on and on almost as long as the series of analytical epicycles in the standard model. What is the purpose of The Theory in one sentence, please?
Dr. G: Standard Model is what we call phenomenology. Older generations called phenomenology "saving the phenomena." Like epicycles this term too had acquired connototations that Doctors of Alphysics prefer to stay away from. You see, only geometric epicycles save the phenomena, analytic epicycle method on the other hand is a legitimate alphysical method and it is called phenomenology.
A1: The objective of The Theory in one sentence please.
Dr. G: Standard Model has no rule; we are looking for a rule based elegant theory which would explain elegantly all the motions of particles.
A1: Thank you. Therefore The Theory is trying to do what Newton did to planetary motions. Before Newton astronomers formed tables of observations to predict the motions of planets. Or they used "standard models" such as Ptolemy's epicyclic theory. Newton discovered the Universal law of gravity and wrote down his famous equations of motion. In other words he discarded all those ugly epicycles and ungainly tables and established a rule based system. He discovered the fundamental rule of nature.
Dr. G: Yes. And in the Newtonian world this is force. In The Theory this is elegance.
A1: Is there a unit of Elegance in The Theory and what its relation to Newton?
Dr. G: The unit of elegance in The Theory is the Greene. One Greene equals G divided by 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Newtons.
A1: Is that G as in G Newton's constant of Universal gravity.
Dr. G: Yes.
