Admin1: Therefore, in simple and definite terms, whatever is written in what Doctors of Alphysics call "mathematics" can be translated into common language we call English without any loss of meaning or precision.
Doctor Gravytee: This is not true at all. You can never translate any mathematical statement into English.
A1: Really?
Dr. G: Really. Statements of the kind of mathematics used by Doctors of Alphysics have multiple meanings. If you try to translate any mathematical statement into English you would end up with multiple contradictory sentences for every mathematical statement of the Doctors.
A1: So actually mathematical statements are not precise.
Dr. G: Not at all. How can a mathematical statement be precise if its fundamental symbol, the equality symbol, has at least 7 meanings.
A1: But Doctors of Alphysics claim that their mathematics is so precise that it is the only scientific language.
Dr. G: This is true. Each one of the every contradictory mathematical statements is precisely true in their own spacetime, in their own universe and in the university of the Doctor of Alphysics.
A1: Outside its proper domain then mathematical statements are only speculations.
Dr. G: More than speculations. They are speculative scenarios of extreme precision.
A1: This is very entertaining.
Dr. G: Alphysics is entertainment.
A1: I thought Alphysics was marketing.
Dr. G: Alphysics is what Doctors of Alphysics say it is.
A1: Precisely?
Dr. G: Very precisely.
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Almathematics
Admin1: Is there a one to one relation between what Doctors of Alphysics call "mathematics" and the English language?
Doctor Gravytee: Your question is an important one. Remember that Doctors of Alphysics use mathematics as authority. This is a well established tradition. What Doctors of Alphysics call mathematics is not something that non-Doctors of Alphysics can understand. This is by definition.
A1: I don't understand. Not only there is no possibility of translation between what Doctors of Alphysics call mathematics and the English language but by definition Doctors of Alphysics are the official translators of the language of mathematics into English.
Dr. G: Yes. You don't understand. Mathematics is a hidden language which is revealed only to Doctors of Alphysics. Mathematics is a language which is by definition not available to non Doctors.
A1: Buy why does this language called mathematics has such a powerful authority on human reason?
Dr. G: Doctors of Alphysics have created the propaganda that only what they call mathematics can reveal the truth about nature.
A1: This is strange. Doctors of Alphysics have made no new discoveries about nature for two millennia.
Dr. G: This is how the society works.
Doctor Gravytee: Your question is an important one. Remember that Doctors of Alphysics use mathematics as authority. This is a well established tradition. What Doctors of Alphysics call mathematics is not something that non-Doctors of Alphysics can understand. This is by definition.
A1: I don't understand. Not only there is no possibility of translation between what Doctors of Alphysics call mathematics and the English language but by definition Doctors of Alphysics are the official translators of the language of mathematics into English.
Dr. G: Yes. You don't understand. Mathematics is a hidden language which is revealed only to Doctors of Alphysics. Mathematics is a language which is by definition not available to non Doctors.
A1: Buy why does this language called mathematics has such a powerful authority on human reason?
Dr. G: Doctors of Alphysics have created the propaganda that only what they call mathematics can reveal the truth about nature.
A1: This is strange. Doctors of Alphysics have made no new discoveries about nature for two millennia.
Dr. G: This is how the society works.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Not even not wrong
Admin1: For every Doctor of Alphysics who says that the String Theory is true there is an equal number of Doctors of Alphysics who say that the String Theory is wrong. And there is another equal number of Doctors of Alphysics who say that String Theory is not even wrong.
Doctor Gravytee: True indeed. In Alphysics hundred per cent need to add up to hundred per cent.
A1: More importantly what is to be gained by criticizing such an Elegant Theory as the String Theory?
Dr. G: What is more important than selling books? The more controversy there is the more books are sold. So the Most Famous Doctor of Alphysics Doctor Greene and the Lesser Famous Doctor of Alphysics Doctor Woit hail from the same famous center of Alphysics, Columbia University. Both write books. Both books sell more because of the apparent controversy created by apparently conflicting views.
A1: Great Alphysical debate. Either way String Theory wins
Dr. G: String theory will be overthrown in due time in fifty years by the next generation. This is the natural cycle of theories in Alphysics.
A1: So it doesn't really matter if String Theory is right or wrong?
Dr. G: String Theory is neither right nor wrong neither it is not even wrong not and not even not even wrong not. String Theory fulfills a real necessity in our society. String Theory is a religion. People want the Doctors of Alphysics define for them the cosmic grid telling them "you are here." There is no reason to criticize Doctors of Alphysics for authoritatively defining this grid for the general population.
Doctor Gravytee: True indeed. In Alphysics hundred per cent need to add up to hundred per cent.
A1: More importantly what is to be gained by criticizing such an Elegant Theory as the String Theory?
Dr. G: What is more important than selling books? The more controversy there is the more books are sold. So the Most Famous Doctor of Alphysics Doctor Greene and the Lesser Famous Doctor of Alphysics Doctor Woit hail from the same famous center of Alphysics, Columbia University. Both write books. Both books sell more because of the apparent controversy created by apparently conflicting views.
A1: Great Alphysical debate. Either way String Theory wins
Dr. G: String theory will be overthrown in due time in fifty years by the next generation. This is the natural cycle of theories in Alphysics.
A1: So it doesn't really matter if String Theory is right or wrong?
Dr. G: String Theory is neither right nor wrong neither it is not even wrong not and not even not even wrong not. String Theory fulfills a real necessity in our society. String Theory is a religion. People want the Doctors of Alphysics define for them the cosmic grid telling them "you are here." There is no reason to criticize Doctors of Alphysics for authoritatively defining this grid for the general population.
The Hierarchy
Admin1: Modern Alphysics is more hierarchical than any period since its founding by Newton.
Dr. Gravytee: Not really. Alphysics has always being about hierarchy. But previous generations of Doctors have been more careful in keeping the hierarchy invisible to the general public. Fame seeking Doctors of today found out that they gain easy fame by popularizing The Theory. With more exposure comes more scrutiny and more visibility.
A1: The Alphysical authority is tied to the number of books Doctors can sell.
Dr. Gravytee: Yes and No. Everyone who wants to understand modern Alphysics must watch the NOVA movie which was first aired in 2003. In that movie you would clearly see the strict hierarchical structure of the Alphysics industry.
A1: What I saw most in the NOVA movie was the most famous Doctor of Alphysics Doctor Greene being the star of countless special effects. The line separating the ridiculous and string theory is indeed a fine one.
Dr. G: The Most Famous Doctor of Alphysics Doctor Greene is the spokesperson and the face of Alphysics. For marketing reasons we cannot make the Highly Esteemed Doctor of Alphysics Doctor Inverted M to be the face of the profession. NOVA movie is really a recruiting propaganda so The Most Famous Doctor of Alphysics Doctor Greene has done a good job going through all the cliches of special effects.
A1: Are you saying that the Most Esteemed Doctor of Alphysics Doctor Inverted M Witten is really the ultimate authority?
Dr. G: Yes and No. First notice that The Most Famous Doctor of Alphysics Doctor Greene has the most exposure. But Doctor Greene reports to Doctor Inverted M who only is seen walking mysteriously in Princeton where Einstein also walked. Do you get the connection?
A1: The way The Ultimately Most Famous Crippled Doctor Hawking occupies the old wheelchair of Newton in Cambridge, The Most Esteemed Doctor Inverted M occupies Einstein's walking paths in New Jersey. This is genius by association.
Dr. G: In the NOVA movie you see that The Most Famous Doctor Greene personifies the Elegance that is String Theory. Then not so photogenic Doctor inverted M is seen walking in the woods of Princeton where Einstein walked to suggest that He is the Top Genius by association. Therefore, by Stringy logic, Einstein, Witten and Greene are all cosmic class geniuses. And then you see the poor rank and file genius of Alphysics who are allowed only to utter one sentence hyping the string theory. And note, very important, the rank and file are filmed in their office but to emphasize their low level in the hierarchy they are all superimposed on the same corny background with blinking lights. Do you get it?
A1: Yes. I think I do. They don't even get to walk the paths of wisdom in Princeton and they are not involved with any special effects. But this String Theory must be an Alphysical force to be reckoned with. Some of the so called rank and file are Nobel Laureates.
Dr. G: Indeed. Nobel laureates of previous generations know nothing about string theory. They don't even understand it. That's why they just want to ride the wave of String Theory and get quoted in NOVA so that they can promote their own books.
A1: This is all so fascinating from a marketing point of view. What does it have to do with Alphysics?
Dr. G: You got it! Alphysics is Marketing!
Dr. Gravytee: Not really. Alphysics has always being about hierarchy. But previous generations of Doctors have been more careful in keeping the hierarchy invisible to the general public. Fame seeking Doctors of today found out that they gain easy fame by popularizing The Theory. With more exposure comes more scrutiny and more visibility.
A1: The Alphysical authority is tied to the number of books Doctors can sell.
Dr. Gravytee: Yes and No. Everyone who wants to understand modern Alphysics must watch the NOVA movie which was first aired in 2003. In that movie you would clearly see the strict hierarchical structure of the Alphysics industry.
A1: What I saw most in the NOVA movie was the most famous Doctor of Alphysics Doctor Greene being the star of countless special effects. The line separating the ridiculous and string theory is indeed a fine one.
Dr. G: The Most Famous Doctor of Alphysics Doctor Greene is the spokesperson and the face of Alphysics. For marketing reasons we cannot make the Highly Esteemed Doctor of Alphysics Doctor Inverted M to be the face of the profession. NOVA movie is really a recruiting propaganda so The Most Famous Doctor of Alphysics Doctor Greene has done a good job going through all the cliches of special effects.
A1: Are you saying that the Most Esteemed Doctor of Alphysics Doctor Inverted M Witten is really the ultimate authority?
Dr. G: Yes and No. First notice that The Most Famous Doctor of Alphysics Doctor Greene has the most exposure. But Doctor Greene reports to Doctor Inverted M who only is seen walking mysteriously in Princeton where Einstein also walked. Do you get the connection?
A1: The way The Ultimately Most Famous Crippled Doctor Hawking occupies the old wheelchair of Newton in Cambridge, The Most Esteemed Doctor Inverted M occupies Einstein's walking paths in New Jersey. This is genius by association.
Dr. G: In the NOVA movie you see that The Most Famous Doctor Greene personifies the Elegance that is String Theory. Then not so photogenic Doctor inverted M is seen walking in the woods of Princeton where Einstein walked to suggest that He is the Top Genius by association. Therefore, by Stringy logic, Einstein, Witten and Greene are all cosmic class geniuses. And then you see the poor rank and file genius of Alphysics who are allowed only to utter one sentence hyping the string theory. And note, very important, the rank and file are filmed in their office but to emphasize their low level in the hierarchy they are all superimposed on the same corny background with blinking lights. Do you get it?
A1: Yes. I think I do. They don't even get to walk the paths of wisdom in Princeton and they are not involved with any special effects. But this String Theory must be an Alphysical force to be reckoned with. Some of the so called rank and file are Nobel Laureates.
Dr. G: Indeed. Nobel laureates of previous generations know nothing about string theory. They don't even understand it. That's why they just want to ride the wave of String Theory and get quoted in NOVA so that they can promote their own books.
A1: This is all so fascinating from a marketing point of view. What does it have to do with Alphysics?
Dr. G: You got it! Alphysics is Marketing!
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Principles
Admin1: What is mathematics and what is its relation to the String Theory?
Doctor Gravytee: Good question. According to the M Principle of the String Theory no word starting with M can have any meaning that can be known by Doctors of Alphysics. So if you ask a Doctor of Alphysics What does M in M-Theory stand for? he would reply that M stands for Matrix, Mystery, inverted W and all of the above and none of the above and Multiples of all of the none of the above. Therefore, mathematics is elegantly mysterious in String Theory.
A1: This M Principle is more powerful than all the other principles of Alphysics combined.
Dr. G: Yes. The Cosmological Principle, Mach Principle, Einstein's Equivalence Principle, Lorentz Principle, Witten Principle, Greene Principle... the list goes on and on. M Principle unifies all the previous principles of Alphysics.
A1: Wouldn't be nice to have a Principle to stop Doctors of Alphysics from inventing any more principles?
Dr. G: No. Alphysics is an experimental science.
Doctor Gravytee: Good question. According to the M Principle of the String Theory no word starting with M can have any meaning that can be known by Doctors of Alphysics. So if you ask a Doctor of Alphysics What does M in M-Theory stand for? he would reply that M stands for Matrix, Mystery, inverted W and all of the above and none of the above and Multiples of all of the none of the above. Therefore, mathematics is elegantly mysterious in String Theory.
A1: This M Principle is more powerful than all the other principles of Alphysics combined.
Dr. G: Yes. The Cosmological Principle, Mach Principle, Einstein's Equivalence Principle, Lorentz Principle, Witten Principle, Greene Principle... the list goes on and on. M Principle unifies all the previous principles of Alphysics.
A1: Wouldn't be nice to have a Principle to stop Doctors of Alphysics from inventing any more principles?
Dr. G: No. Alphysics is an experimental science.
Scholastic sham
Admin1: Not only ants crawling on visual illusionistic light poles but coffee cups and doughnuts have elegant significance in human understanding of the elegant universe.
Doctor Gravytee: Since a coffee cup and a doughnut have the same shape therefore the universe is elegant and the string theory is correct and 11 dimensions exists.
A1: Is this what you call the scholastic sham?
Dr. G: This is stringy logic. The six figure book contracts exist therefore string theory is right, wrong and not even wrong.
Doctor Gravytee: Since a coffee cup and a doughnut have the same shape therefore the universe is elegant and the string theory is correct and 11 dimensions exists.
A1: Is this what you call the scholastic sham?
Dr. G: This is stringy logic. The six figure book contracts exist therefore string theory is right, wrong and not even wrong.
Monday, September 25, 2006
Stringy logic
Admin1: The incomprehensibly elegant mathematicism of the The Theory predicts that we are living in a universe in which visual illusions exist.
Doctor Gravytee: The Theory has predicted to the Doctors of Alphysics that visual illusion is a reality. Therefore, when you look at a New York City traffic light pole you notice that the metal wires securing the red, yellow and green lights are flat. As you zoom closer and closer with a powerful camera you then notice dazed ants crawling on the metal wires. The incredible discovery that Doctors of Alphysics have made is that the metal wires holding New York City light poles are actually three dimensional and not two dimensional.
A1: Doctors of Alphysics spend at least two decades cramming Alphysics in their academic dens. When Doctors of Alphysics are not cramming Alphysics they relax by watching Star Wars and Saturday Morning Cartoons. No wonder they are totally unaware that metal poles are three dimensional.
Dr. G: Yes. Doctors of Alphysics live in a cartoon universe and not surprisingly the universe they defined is a cartoon universe where special effects are believed to be real. Of course, Doctors of Alphysics do not name their universe Saturday Morning Cartoons Universe, they call their universe Einstein-DeSitter Universe, which sounds better don't you think.
A1: Therefore, Doctors of Alphysics used the most elegant mathematicism of The Theory and realized that The Theory predicted that we are living in a universe so elegant that visual illusions exist. And since visual illusions exist therefore 11 dimensions exist.
Dr. G: This is one of the most elegantly striking stringy logic ever used by Doctors.
A1: Just to clarify. It is the elegant mathematicism of The Theory which told Doctors that visual illusions exist, right?
Dr. G: Yes, indeed. Doctors of Alphysics are using the simple illustration of ants crawling on New York City light posts to illustrate to low grade humanity who are not familiar with the Stringy logic the elegant mathematicism. Civilians otherwise would not be able to comprehend this stringy logic.
A1: I see. The existence of visual illusions is proved by the elegantine mathematicism of the most stringy kind. And without it humanity would never have known that visual illusions existed.
Dr. G: The simple is incomprehensible to Doctors of Alphysics. But super ugly elegantine mathematicism Doctors of Alphysics use to express the simple statement "visual illusions exist therefore 11 dimensions exist" makes elegant sense to them.
A1: In the Nova movie the elegantinely stringy mathematicism of the theory is written on the blackboard with chalk. The result of such a nostalgic activity cannot be wrong. While a simple statement such as "visual illusions exist therefore 11 dimensions exist" has no meaning without the elegantine mathematicism of The Theory.
Dr. G: Without knowing the stringy mathematicism you cannot understand the deep and elegant symbolism of ants crawling on New York City light posts.
Doctor Gravytee: The Theory has predicted to the Doctors of Alphysics that visual illusion is a reality. Therefore, when you look at a New York City traffic light pole you notice that the metal wires securing the red, yellow and green lights are flat. As you zoom closer and closer with a powerful camera you then notice dazed ants crawling on the metal wires. The incredible discovery that Doctors of Alphysics have made is that the metal wires holding New York City light poles are actually three dimensional and not two dimensional.
A1: Doctors of Alphysics spend at least two decades cramming Alphysics in their academic dens. When Doctors of Alphysics are not cramming Alphysics they relax by watching Star Wars and Saturday Morning Cartoons. No wonder they are totally unaware that metal poles are three dimensional.
Dr. G: Yes. Doctors of Alphysics live in a cartoon universe and not surprisingly the universe they defined is a cartoon universe where special effects are believed to be real. Of course, Doctors of Alphysics do not name their universe Saturday Morning Cartoons Universe, they call their universe Einstein-DeSitter Universe, which sounds better don't you think.
A1: Therefore, Doctors of Alphysics used the most elegant mathematicism of The Theory and realized that The Theory predicted that we are living in a universe so elegant that visual illusions exist. And since visual illusions exist therefore 11 dimensions exist.
Dr. G: This is one of the most elegantly striking stringy logic ever used by Doctors.
A1: Just to clarify. It is the elegant mathematicism of The Theory which told Doctors that visual illusions exist, right?
Dr. G: Yes, indeed. Doctors of Alphysics are using the simple illustration of ants crawling on New York City light posts to illustrate to low grade humanity who are not familiar with the Stringy logic the elegant mathematicism. Civilians otherwise would not be able to comprehend this stringy logic.
A1: I see. The existence of visual illusions is proved by the elegantine mathematicism of the most stringy kind. And without it humanity would never have known that visual illusions existed.
Dr. G: The simple is incomprehensible to Doctors of Alphysics. But super ugly elegantine mathematicism Doctors of Alphysics use to express the simple statement "visual illusions exist therefore 11 dimensions exist" makes elegant sense to them.
A1: In the Nova movie the elegantinely stringy mathematicism of the theory is written on the blackboard with chalk. The result of such a nostalgic activity cannot be wrong. While a simple statement such as "visual illusions exist therefore 11 dimensions exist" has no meaning without the elegantine mathematicism of The Theory.
Dr. G: Without knowing the stringy mathematicism you cannot understand the deep and elegant symbolism of ants crawling on New York City light posts.
Sunday, September 24, 2006
String Theory predicts...
Admin1: What does String Theory predicts... mean?
Doctor Gravytee: The spin of String Theory is exactly the same as the spin Newton put on his Principia. This is why Newton's genius as the founder of modern alphysics as marketing is undisputed.
A1: The cosmogonic spin goes back to the beginning of history, it was not invented by Newton.
Dr. G: The basic scholastic sham has not changed a bit for millennia. But Newton perfected it and set down its laws. Using Newton's laws of marketing Doctors of Alphysics created the String Theory brand and they are fine tuning it continuously.
A1: What is the scholastic sham?
Dr. G: Identify three concepts:
Doctor Gravytee: The spin of String Theory is exactly the same as the spin Newton put on his Principia. This is why Newton's genius as the founder of modern alphysics as marketing is undisputed.
A1: The cosmogonic spin goes back to the beginning of history, it was not invented by Newton.
Dr. G: The basic scholastic sham has not changed a bit for millennia. But Newton perfected it and set down its laws. Using Newton's laws of marketing Doctors of Alphysics created the String Theory brand and they are fine tuning it continuously.
A1: What is the scholastic sham?
Dr. G: Identify three concepts:
- True Knowledge
- The tool used to discover True Knowledge
- The Priests who used the tool to discover True Knowledge
Realize that True Knowledge is only visible to the Priests because the Priests have sacrificied at least 100 thousand dollars to the Gods of the Ivy and wasted their best years to cram an ugly spaghetti code they don't understand and never use. Obviously a civilian who did not make these sacrificies to the true Gods of Ivy Science will never be able to understand True Knowledge. Therefore, in order to recover at least some of their sacrifice Doctors of Alphysics obtain six figure book contracts to demystify True Knowledge to people who do not have access to True Knowledge.
A1: I read countless Elegant Demystifying books and I still don't know what True Knowledge is.
Dr. G: This is how it should be. There is no True Knowledge. Doctors of Philosophy define their Tool du Jour as the Absolute True Knowledge. Doctors of Alphysics love the Hidden.
A1: So hidden dimensions Doctors are telling us about will never be visible to anyone else but to Doctors of Alphysics.
Dr. G: This is not true. In order to attain Hidden Dimensions Nirvana you must buy and read carefully the books on Elegant Universes.
A1: So the sham is that Doctors of Alphysics tell non-Doctors that they have this Hidden Language called Mathematics which told them that absurd is commonplace. Doctors of Alphysics tell rational people that since they don't know the Hidden Language of Doctors they have to take Doctors' word and believe that Nature is absurd.
Dr. G: Yes. This is a foolproof pyramid scheme. If a rational non-Doctor takes Doctors' sham seriously and studies the Hidden Language for two decades then what happens? Will the True Knowledge be visible to him? No. Of course not. The poor previously rational man now finds out that he spent two decades learning a dead language. He has no choice but go along with the sham and now he tells other rational people to study the Hidden Language for enlightenment.
A1: Doctors' sham is religious indoctrination.
Dr. G: Yes. All cosmogonic systems are religious systems. All cosmogonic systems are presented as science.
A1: This is how people want it.
Dr. G: Yes.
M as in Marketing
Admin1: How do Doctors of Alphysics justify their absurd claims?
Doctor Gravytee: If it can be done as a special effect it is possible in Nature.
A1: This is a big advance from the previous generation of Doctors of Alphysics who based their absurd claims on the authority of mathematics.
Dr. G: Modern Alphysics has revolutionized how Alphysics is done. In classical Alphysics Doctors used, or abused is the better word, the authority of mathematics to support their absurd claims. Today's Doctors realized that what their audience remembers is the special effects not some cryptic alphysical symbols.
A1: This is only a rebranding. The essential idea is the same. Doctors of Alphysics reason by authority.
Dr. G: Yes. Alphysics is all about marketing and branding. You can see in the NOVA movie that Alphysics is at the cutting edge of modern marketing.
A1: Alphysics is marketing state of the art. I am preparing a list of marketing elements in Alphysics and I put the concept of M Theory on top of my list.
Dr. G: Making M so mystical was the greatest marketing idea in the universes.
A1: It was fascinating to watch all the Doctors of Alphysics coyly stating that they did not know what M was. They then offered cute suggestions.
Dr. G: Coca Cola, the master of pure marketing, also uses this technique. They have created a mystique by never disclosing what their "secret ingredient" is.
Doctor Gravytee: If it can be done as a special effect it is possible in Nature.
A1: This is a big advance from the previous generation of Doctors of Alphysics who based their absurd claims on the authority of mathematics.
Dr. G: Modern Alphysics has revolutionized how Alphysics is done. In classical Alphysics Doctors used, or abused is the better word, the authority of mathematics to support their absurd claims. Today's Doctors realized that what their audience remembers is the special effects not some cryptic alphysical symbols.
A1: This is only a rebranding. The essential idea is the same. Doctors of Alphysics reason by authority.
Dr. G: Yes. Alphysics is all about marketing and branding. You can see in the NOVA movie that Alphysics is at the cutting edge of modern marketing.
A1: Alphysics is marketing state of the art. I am preparing a list of marketing elements in Alphysics and I put the concept of M Theory on top of my list.
Dr. G: Making M so mystical was the greatest marketing idea in the universes.
A1: It was fascinating to watch all the Doctors of Alphysics coyly stating that they did not know what M was. They then offered cute suggestions.
Dr. G: Coca Cola, the master of pure marketing, also uses this technique. They have created a mystique by never disclosing what their "secret ingredient" is.
Saturday, September 23, 2006
The most famous Doctor of Alphysics
Admin1: You agree that the latest episode of Nova with the most famous Doctor of Alphysics, Doctor Greene, proves beyond any doubt that The M-Theory is experimentally correct beyond any doubt. But it is so sad to watch someone who seems to be intelligent otherwise to believe in the falling apple dogma of Newtonism.
Doctor Gravytee: The Theory exists because Doctors of Alphysics such as Doctor Greene are priests of Newtonism.
A1: Why do you say that?
Dr. G: You call Doctor Greene an intelligent person. Probably he is. Up to a point. But his Newtonian indoctrination makes it impossible for him to see the world the way it really is. You see, Doctor Greene is a Newtonian Doctor of Philosophy. He is a Doctor of Alphysics.
A1: You mean he is a scholastic?
Dr. G: Of course. Not only a scholastic but he is a PRIEST of Newtonism. Newtonism is a religion. If you are aware of this fact the Nova movie makes sense. The most famous Doctor Greene cannot tell a definition from a proportionality. He has a dogmatic faith in Newtonian doctrine. For him Newton is absolutely right. Since he is unable to question the Newtonian doctrine he creates a string of lies he calls The Theory of Strings to justify his Newtonian indoctrination.
A1: This is a serious accusation.
Dr. G: There is no accusation. In the Nova episode you see the apples fall in a desert and you watch and hear the most famous Doctor of Alphysics Doctor Greene reiterate the authority of Newton by saying that Newton discovered the laws of gravity. This is a criminal statement.
A1: Do you mean to say that the most famous Doctor of Alphysics Doctor Greene is guilty of crimes against science?
Dr. G: Exactly.
A1: Then people are right. You are just jealous of the most famous Doctor of Alphysics Doctor Greene.
Dr. G: Not at all. He is a popularizer. The Theory needs evangelists like the most famous Doctor of Alphysics Doctor Greene.
Doctor Gravytee: The Theory exists because Doctors of Alphysics such as Doctor Greene are priests of Newtonism.
A1: Why do you say that?
Dr. G: You call Doctor Greene an intelligent person. Probably he is. Up to a point. But his Newtonian indoctrination makes it impossible for him to see the world the way it really is. You see, Doctor Greene is a Newtonian Doctor of Philosophy. He is a Doctor of Alphysics.
A1: You mean he is a scholastic?
Dr. G: Of course. Not only a scholastic but he is a PRIEST of Newtonism. Newtonism is a religion. If you are aware of this fact the Nova movie makes sense. The most famous Doctor Greene cannot tell a definition from a proportionality. He has a dogmatic faith in Newtonian doctrine. For him Newton is absolutely right. Since he is unable to question the Newtonian doctrine he creates a string of lies he calls The Theory of Strings to justify his Newtonian indoctrination.
A1: This is a serious accusation.
Dr. G: There is no accusation. In the Nova episode you see the apples fall in a desert and you watch and hear the most famous Doctor of Alphysics Doctor Greene reiterate the authority of Newton by saying that Newton discovered the laws of gravity. This is a criminal statement.
A1: Do you mean to say that the most famous Doctor of Alphysics Doctor Greene is guilty of crimes against science?
Dr. G: Exactly.
A1: Then people are right. You are just jealous of the most famous Doctor of Alphysics Doctor Greene.
Dr. G: Not at all. He is a popularizer. The Theory needs evangelists like the most famous Doctor of Alphysics Doctor Greene.
Scientific Spinal Tap
Admin1: This is fascinating. In our time, in just a few decades Doctors of Alphysics proved with impeccable mathematicism of The Theory that the world is made of strings and the world is not made of strings.
Doctor Gravytee: You are right and you are wrong. Alphysics is most elegant. Since the official unit of elegance in alphysics is Greene you see that Doctor Greene himself is the proof that we are living in an elegant universe.
A1: There are rumors that you are jealous because the most famous Doctor of Alphysics Greene is more famous than you and while you only have a blog the most famous Doctor Greene has his own Nova movie with state of the art computer graphics allowing him to prove all the cliches of postmodern media, by walking out of movie screens, by sitting next to himself in a movie theater and traveling in time. Is The Theory really the theory of old postmodern movie gimmicks?
Dr. G: The Theory is a marketing gimmick. The most famous Doctor Greene is a celebrity. He is paid by the giant publishing industry. For the most famous Doctor Greene the universe looks like whatever sells. Elegant sells. Therefore the universe is elegant.
Doctor Gravytee: You are right and you are wrong. Alphysics is most elegant. Since the official unit of elegance in alphysics is Greene you see that Doctor Greene himself is the proof that we are living in an elegant universe.
A1: There are rumors that you are jealous because the most famous Doctor of Alphysics Greene is more famous than you and while you only have a blog the most famous Doctor Greene has his own Nova movie with state of the art computer graphics allowing him to prove all the cliches of postmodern media, by walking out of movie screens, by sitting next to himself in a movie theater and traveling in time. Is The Theory really the theory of old postmodern movie gimmicks?
Dr. G: The Theory is a marketing gimmick. The most famous Doctor Greene is a celebrity. He is paid by the giant publishing industry. For the most famous Doctor Greene the universe looks like whatever sells. Elegant sells. Therefore the universe is elegant.
Doctors of Alphysics discover computer graphics
Admin1: The most famous Doctor of Philosophy Doctor Greene has discovered that computer graphics is the natural medium of The Theory.
Doctor Gravytee: The most famous Doctor of Philosophy Doctor Greene discovers that computer graphics is the natural medium of the string theory and proves that the M-Theory in Nova causing yet another revolution of the Theory.
A1: So The Theory has now been proved?
Dr. G: Yes. As Greene proved in the Nova episode The Theory is absolutely positively experimentally correct in every respect. Not only in this universe but in every parallel universe.
A1: How elegantly beautiful.
Doctor Gravytee: The most famous Doctor of Philosophy Doctor Greene discovers that computer graphics is the natural medium of the string theory and proves that the M-Theory in Nova causing yet another revolution of the Theory.
A1: So The Theory has now been proved?
Dr. G: Yes. As Greene proved in the Nova episode The Theory is absolutely positively experimentally correct in every respect. Not only in this universe but in every parallel universe.
A1: How elegantly beautiful.
Friday, September 22, 2006
Life Doctors
Admin1: The Life Peers of the House of Lords and the Life Doctors of House of Alphysics have something in common.
Doctor Gravytee: Indeed. Both have their title for life. Doctors of Alphysics are the only professionals who report to no higher authority. They are peerless. Indeed very good analogy.
A1: Life Peers of the House of Lords are not productive humans who contribute to the wellbeing of humanity. Their only concern is their own peerage.
Dr. Gravytee: This is how it should be. Doctors of Alphysics too own a title and a land, in their case an intellectual estate they have acquired. The professional life of the Doctor of Alphysics is dedicated in protected his estate.
A1: Life Peers of the House of Lords have immense authority simply because they have inherited their authority.
Dr. Gravytee: A Doctor of Alphysics also inherits his estate. He is first an acolyte, then he is admitted into the Brotherhood and he owns the estate. No one can take his estate from him.
Doctor Gravytee: Indeed. Both have their title for life. Doctors of Alphysics are the only professionals who report to no higher authority. They are peerless. Indeed very good analogy.
A1: Life Peers of the House of Lords are not productive humans who contribute to the wellbeing of humanity. Their only concern is their own peerage.
Dr. Gravytee: This is how it should be. Doctors of Alphysics too own a title and a land, in their case an intellectual estate they have acquired. The professional life of the Doctor of Alphysics is dedicated in protected his estate.
A1: Life Peers of the House of Lords have immense authority simply because they have inherited their authority.
Dr. Gravytee: A Doctor of Alphysics also inherits his estate. He is first an acolyte, then he is admitted into the Brotherhood and he owns the estate. No one can take his estate from him.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Unification of professioal fields
Admin1: Doctors divided nature into academic fields so that a Doctor can master a section during an academic career.
Doctor Gravytee: In Alphysics the academic glory comes to the Doctor who markets himself as the superhuman genius who mastered something about nature that no one else is able to understand. Since nature is simple Doctors of Alphysics invent a complicated language and define it as the true laws of nature. Sharing and collaboration is not valued in Alphysics. This is true for all other scholastic fields where Doctors dominate the field.
A1: Is this the reason why nature is so fragmented?
Doctor G: Yes. Doctors divided nature into intellectual bite size portions understandable to humans.
A1: There is collaboration in Alphysics. We see papers written by several authors, sometimes by hundreds of authors, especially in particle Alphysics.
Dr. G: Those are not really collaborations. Doctors divide the tasks of analyzing a huge chunk of data obtained by giant computers into smaller chunks and each group analyzes its own data.
A1: Will a unification of academic fields help human wellbeing?
Dr. G: Maybe. Unification of academic fields is not good for the wellbeing of Doctors so it will never happen.
A1: An open knowledge movement in academia is a dream?
Dr. G: No. It is a joke.
Doctor Gravytee: In Alphysics the academic glory comes to the Doctor who markets himself as the superhuman genius who mastered something about nature that no one else is able to understand. Since nature is simple Doctors of Alphysics invent a complicated language and define it as the true laws of nature. Sharing and collaboration is not valued in Alphysics. This is true for all other scholastic fields where Doctors dominate the field.
A1: Is this the reason why nature is so fragmented?
Doctor G: Yes. Doctors divided nature into intellectual bite size portions understandable to humans.
A1: There is collaboration in Alphysics. We see papers written by several authors, sometimes by hundreds of authors, especially in particle Alphysics.
Dr. G: Those are not really collaborations. Doctors divide the tasks of analyzing a huge chunk of data obtained by giant computers into smaller chunks and each group analyzes its own data.
A1: Will a unification of academic fields help human wellbeing?
Dr. G: Maybe. Unification of academic fields is not good for the wellbeing of Doctors so it will never happen.
A1: An open knowledge movement in academia is a dream?
Dr. G: No. It is a joke.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Fabric of spacetime
Admin1: Design is the foundation of Alphysics. This is not surprising. What is surprising is that so many of Alphysicists are specialists in textile design.
Dr. Gravytee: The fabric of spacetime is the fundamental concept of Alphysics.
A1: There are so many absolutely ultimately genuinely fundamental concepts in Alphysics that the fabric of spacetime must be the first among equally fundamentals.
Dr. G: The fundamental nature of the fabric of spacetime is proved by the ubiquitous computer graphic showing a sickly rendered Photoshop sphere warping the weft and warp of the fabric of spacetime.
A1: I know that triple X revolution of The Theory proves mathematically that Photoshop spheres only should warp the warp and not the weft of spacetime.
Dr. G: The computer artists who draw those graphics are not Doctors of Alphysics. And the editors who publish them in glossy magazines are not Doctors of Alphysics.
A1: And readers who read those glossy magazines are not Doctors of Alphysics either.
Dr. G: Doctors of Alphysics know that the computer graphics are marketing tools. Our culture has moved away from the geometrical to pictorial. In geometry every line and every point has a precise meaning. That is why geometry is so boring. By moving from geometric and scientific to pictorial Doctors of Alphysics created a new revolution. No longer lines and points reference to precise quantities. Instead they are pictorial elements existing to impress the viewer.
A1: Doctors of Alphysics still use the authority of geometry and mathematics even though what they do is not mathematical but pictorial.
Dr. G: Yes. Alphysics has freed science from the shackles of rationalism.
Dr. Gravytee: The fabric of spacetime is the fundamental concept of Alphysics.
A1: There are so many absolutely ultimately genuinely fundamental concepts in Alphysics that the fabric of spacetime must be the first among equally fundamentals.
Dr. G: The fundamental nature of the fabric of spacetime is proved by the ubiquitous computer graphic showing a sickly rendered Photoshop sphere warping the weft and warp of the fabric of spacetime.
A1: I know that triple X revolution of The Theory proves mathematically that Photoshop spheres only should warp the warp and not the weft of spacetime.
Dr. G: The computer artists who draw those graphics are not Doctors of Alphysics. And the editors who publish them in glossy magazines are not Doctors of Alphysics.
A1: And readers who read those glossy magazines are not Doctors of Alphysics either.
Dr. G: Doctors of Alphysics know that the computer graphics are marketing tools. Our culture has moved away from the geometrical to pictorial. In geometry every line and every point has a precise meaning. That is why geometry is so boring. By moving from geometric and scientific to pictorial Doctors of Alphysics created a new revolution. No longer lines and points reference to precise quantities. Instead they are pictorial elements existing to impress the viewer.
A1: Doctors of Alphysics still use the authority of geometry and mathematics even though what they do is not mathematical but pictorial.
Dr. G: Yes. Alphysics has freed science from the shackles of rationalism.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
True until proven otherwise
Admin1: The next generation of colliders are upon us.
Doctor Gravytee: These will be the space colliders. NASA is building a collider which will circle the earth. Taken the rate with which NASA is building the space station a collider circling the earth will be ready in two centuries.
A1: Present Doctors of Alphysics do not have to worry about their experimental propositions ever being disproved during their academic lifetimes.
Dr. G: In alphysics theoretical speculations are experimental truths until proved otherwise.
A1: NASA guarantees to make new discoveries with the new collider and they have been soliciting new discoveries to be included in the contract to be signed with contractors.
Dr. G: My discovery of fractional dimensions is already proved by the space collider since my proposal has been accepted by NASA.
Doctor Gravytee: These will be the space colliders. NASA is building a collider which will circle the earth. Taken the rate with which NASA is building the space station a collider circling the earth will be ready in two centuries.
A1: Present Doctors of Alphysics do not have to worry about their experimental propositions ever being disproved during their academic lifetimes.
Dr. G: In alphysics theoretical speculations are experimental truths until proved otherwise.
A1: NASA guarantees to make new discoveries with the new collider and they have been soliciting new discoveries to be included in the contract to be signed with contractors.
Dr. G: My discovery of fractional dimensions is already proved by the space collider since my proposal has been accepted by NASA.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Anything goes
Admin1: A Doctor of Medicine was sentenced to serve a year in prison for faking his research data.
Dr. Gravytee: Doctors of Medicine are practitioners not theoretical doctors and they let their industry be regulated. Alphysics is not a regulated industry. And it will not be regulated ever. If you regulate alphysics it will simply reduce to mere science.
Dr. Gravytee: Doctors of Medicine are practitioners not theoretical doctors and they let their industry be regulated. Alphysics is not a regulated industry. And it will not be regulated ever. If you regulate alphysics it will simply reduce to mere science.
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Logical Alphysics
Admin1: Is the kind of logic used by Doctors of Alphysics superior to reasonable logic used by ordinary reasonable people?
Doctor Gravytee: What you call "ordinary logic" is very limited in its scope and it is useless in the kind of scientific work we are doing. Let me show you how ordinary logic fails in alphysics. As an ordinary reasoner you would look at Hubble's observation that galaxies are moving away from each other and conclude that galaxies were once closer together. This is the reasonable conclusion from the available evidence. There is nothing which told Hubble that the galaxies visible from the corner of the universe where humans lived constituted the entire universe. But for Doctors of Alphysics Hubble's observations provided "a dramatic confirmation" of general relativistic prediction that the Universe is expanding.
A1: The conclusion that the spreading galaxies necessarily means that sometime in the past all matter and space was concentrated in the form of a primordial atom with infinite density, temperature and pressure and with a diameter equal to zero is the result of Alphysics reasoning.
Dr. G: Yes. Without the scientific alphysics reasoning you could never make the greatest scientific discovery of the creation of the universe.
Doctor Gravytee: What you call "ordinary logic" is very limited in its scope and it is useless in the kind of scientific work we are doing. Let me show you how ordinary logic fails in alphysics. As an ordinary reasoner you would look at Hubble's observation that galaxies are moving away from each other and conclude that galaxies were once closer together. This is the reasonable conclusion from the available evidence. There is nothing which told Hubble that the galaxies visible from the corner of the universe where humans lived constituted the entire universe. But for Doctors of Alphysics Hubble's observations provided "a dramatic confirmation" of general relativistic prediction that the Universe is expanding.
A1: The conclusion that the spreading galaxies necessarily means that sometime in the past all matter and space was concentrated in the form of a primordial atom with infinite density, temperature and pressure and with a diameter equal to zero is the result of Alphysics reasoning.
Dr. G: Yes. Without the scientific alphysics reasoning you could never make the greatest scientific discovery of the creation of the universe.
Saturday, September 16, 2006
General Relativity survives
Admin1: Einstein's General Relativity survives yet another test, the newspapers report.
Dr. Gravytee: Einstein's General Relativity is the most frequently proved unproved theory ever. This is pure alphysics. Doctors could never get enough of proving General Relativity.
A1: The article also says that Einstein's General Relativity replaced Newton's theory of gravity.
Dr. G: Einstein's General Relativity is a variation of Newton's theory. You only need to look at Einstein's equations.
A1: I am looking at Einstein equations. The most beautiful set of symbols ever written by a human being. Do you want me to include the cosmological constant or not.
Dr. G: It doesn't matter. Cosmological constant come and go. There are Doctors of alphysics who specialize in removing and reinstating the cosmological constant according to the cosmic winds prevelant at academia at the moment. Try to locate the other constant term in Einstein's equations.
A1: Yes. I see it. It is the G. The Newton's constant of gravity.
Dr. G: For the time being, you are right, G is known as Newton's constant of gravity. We are working to rename G to be the fundamental constant of The Theory. So G is really the constant of Elegance.
A1: Would Einstein's General Theory of Relativity work better with the elegant G rather than the Newtonian G.
Dr. G: No doubt. Once G is combined with the cosmological constant Einstein's equations will be infinitely more elegant.
A1: Are you proposing G_lambda?
Dr. G: G_lambda is the unified fundamental constant of nature. What a universal remote control is to your entertainment gadgets at home G the unified universal constant of nature is to alphysics.
A1: What is its value?
Dr. G: Our group is working to define its value so that it agrees with all the past and future constants of nature defined by alphysicists.
A1: Great. I can imagine the headlines: "The universal constant of nature G proves Einstein's General Theory of Relativity."
Dr. G: Yes. In alphysics, once a theory is established it can never be removed. It could only be proved again and again.
A1: And again and again until science come.
Dr. Gravytee: Einstein's General Relativity is the most frequently proved unproved theory ever. This is pure alphysics. Doctors could never get enough of proving General Relativity.
A1: The article also says that Einstein's General Relativity replaced Newton's theory of gravity.
Dr. G: Einstein's General Relativity is a variation of Newton's theory. You only need to look at Einstein's equations.
A1: I am looking at Einstein equations. The most beautiful set of symbols ever written by a human being. Do you want me to include the cosmological constant or not.
Dr. G: It doesn't matter. Cosmological constant come and go. There are Doctors of alphysics who specialize in removing and reinstating the cosmological constant according to the cosmic winds prevelant at academia at the moment. Try to locate the other constant term in Einstein's equations.
A1: Yes. I see it. It is the G. The Newton's constant of gravity.
Dr. G: For the time being, you are right, G is known as Newton's constant of gravity. We are working to rename G to be the fundamental constant of The Theory. So G is really the constant of Elegance.
A1: Would Einstein's General Theory of Relativity work better with the elegant G rather than the Newtonian G.
Dr. G: No doubt. Once G is combined with the cosmological constant Einstein's equations will be infinitely more elegant.
A1: Are you proposing G_lambda?
Dr. G: G_lambda is the unified fundamental constant of nature. What a universal remote control is to your entertainment gadgets at home G the unified universal constant of nature is to alphysics.
A1: What is its value?
Dr. G: Our group is working to define its value so that it agrees with all the past and future constants of nature defined by alphysicists.
A1: Great. I can imagine the headlines: "The universal constant of nature G proves Einstein's General Theory of Relativity."
Dr. G: Yes. In alphysics, once a theory is established it can never be removed. It could only be proved again and again.
A1: And again and again until science come.
Friday, September 15, 2006
Error
Admin1: Mathematics and experiment are the two pillars upon which the great edifice of Alphysics has been built. What is the third pillar?
Doctor Gravytee: Absurd.
A1: Absurd?
Dr. G: Yes. Absurd is the third pillar of Alphysics. It is very easy to understand this. Doctors of Alphysics have universal authority to define what science is. Mathematics and experiment are parts of science. Therefore, Doctors of Alphysics have absolute authority over both math and experiment.
A1: How can a person have authority over mathematics?
Dr. G: The rules of mathematics are defined by Doctors of Alphysics. In mathematics there are no errors.
A1: Of course there are errors in mathematics. If you try to divide one by zero you get an error message: "ERROR! DIVISION BY ZERO."
Dr. G: For a Doctor of Alphysics such an error message is as serious as an error message given by Windows. Doctor simply hits the cancel key and defines the error as the new rule. He may even be given the Nobel Prize for such a discovery.
A1: I see. Division by zero used to be an error but it is no longer an error. Doctors defined it to be a singularity.
Dr. G: You got it.
Doctor Gravytee: Absurd.
A1: Absurd?
Dr. G: Yes. Absurd is the third pillar of Alphysics. It is very easy to understand this. Doctors of Alphysics have universal authority to define what science is. Mathematics and experiment are parts of science. Therefore, Doctors of Alphysics have absolute authority over both math and experiment.
A1: How can a person have authority over mathematics?
Dr. G: The rules of mathematics are defined by Doctors of Alphysics. In mathematics there are no errors.
A1: Of course there are errors in mathematics. If you try to divide one by zero you get an error message: "ERROR! DIVISION BY ZERO."
Dr. G: For a Doctor of Alphysics such an error message is as serious as an error message given by Windows. Doctor simply hits the cancel key and defines the error as the new rule. He may even be given the Nobel Prize for such a discovery.
A1: I see. Division by zero used to be an error but it is no longer an error. Doctors defined it to be a singularity.
Dr. G: You got it.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Marketing
Admin1: They say that the fundamental concept of Nature is not force or even elegance but it is marketing.
Doctor Gravytee: Take a look at a flower. It is a billboard designed to attract butterflies.
A1: Then we can make scientific discoveries by applying marketing methods on Nature.
Dr. G: When you ask a question to Nature you have to put that question in a way that nature can understand it. Otherwise you won't get an answer.
A1: It is hoped that one day The Theory will come up with a question to ask to Nature.
Doctor Gravytee: Take a look at a flower. It is a billboard designed to attract butterflies.
A1: Then we can make scientific discoveries by applying marketing methods on Nature.
Dr. G: When you ask a question to Nature you have to put that question in a way that nature can understand it. Otherwise you won't get an answer.
A1: It is hoped that one day The Theory will come up with a question to ask to Nature.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
The scholastic train
Admin1: Assume that Einstein traveled through a suitable spacetime and after a smooth passage through a good wormhole landed at Princeton with only minor and superficial burns caused by Hawking radiation. What would be your advise to Einstein?
Doctor Gravytee: I would tell Einstein to start studying General Relativity. If he wants to be admitted in any alphysics department as a first year student he needs to buy a copy of MTW and start cramming General Relativity.
A1: He is the father of General Relativity.
Dr. G: Einstein the original human being as opposed to Einstein the mythological figure wrote only about two dozen pages on General Relativity in his lifetime. Since Einstein's passing those two dozen pages multiplied into 700,000 billion pages. Einstein's commentators proved to be more prolific than the commentators on Aristotle and Newton combined. As we speak thousands of Doctors of Philosophy around the world are composing scholastic commentary on Einstein's General Relativity.
A1: Are you implying that if Einstein applied to Princeton today he would be denied admission?
Dr. G: That's a certainty. Since Einstein's time alphysics has reached levels of elegant absurdity never even dreamed of by Einstein. But this may be good for Einstein and alphysics. Einstein may be forced to make a living once again by working in a patent office and he may come up with another fantastic theory.
A1: I don't think this is possible any longer. In modern US workplace no employee can spend so much time doing his research on employer's time. Furthermore, today The Theory is the ultimate elegant theory. Even Einstein will not be able to imagine a more elegant theory even if he worked in a patent office with an understanding boss.
Dr. G: Do not understimate the power of mythology.
Doctor Gravytee: I would tell Einstein to start studying General Relativity. If he wants to be admitted in any alphysics department as a first year student he needs to buy a copy of MTW and start cramming General Relativity.
A1: He is the father of General Relativity.
Dr. G: Einstein the original human being as opposed to Einstein the mythological figure wrote only about two dozen pages on General Relativity in his lifetime. Since Einstein's passing those two dozen pages multiplied into 700,000 billion pages. Einstein's commentators proved to be more prolific than the commentators on Aristotle and Newton combined. As we speak thousands of Doctors of Philosophy around the world are composing scholastic commentary on Einstein's General Relativity.
A1: Are you implying that if Einstein applied to Princeton today he would be denied admission?
Dr. G: That's a certainty. Since Einstein's time alphysics has reached levels of elegant absurdity never even dreamed of by Einstein. But this may be good for Einstein and alphysics. Einstein may be forced to make a living once again by working in a patent office and he may come up with another fantastic theory.
A1: I don't think this is possible any longer. In modern US workplace no employee can spend so much time doing his research on employer's time. Furthermore, today The Theory is the ultimate elegant theory. Even Einstein will not be able to imagine a more elegant theory even if he worked in a patent office with an understanding boss.
Dr. G: Do not understimate the power of mythology.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Fractional Dimensions
Admin1: Dr. Gravytee, you are the discoverer of fractional dimensions.
Dr. Gravytee: Fractional dimensions are real. The next generation of colliders proposed by our group is designed to observe the fractional dimensions.
A1: The Theory fully supports fractional dimensions so it is a given that the new colliders will observe them. Have you defined the matching ultimate elementary particles who live in fractional dimensions? Last time I walked by your office you were busy studying your Star Wars DVDs to come up with a media friendly catchy label for the new family of ultimate elementary building blocks of nature.
Dr. G: My group has been polishing the last details before we launch our package of the next ultimate Nature. We hired Burson-Marsteller, a world class New York PR firm. This time around we are registering the names of new particles and copyrighting the whole package. The package includes the fractional dimensions, fractional universes, matching fractional spacetimes, the suitable candidates for dark matter, a new paradigm for black hole candidates, and all other color coded phenomena in the universe, a new species of gravitatioal waves called fractional gravitational waves, a new fractional spin, and of course, we are covering all flavors of Einstein's General Relativity and we are introducing our fractional cosmological constant, and the whole package reduces to Newton in pedestrian energies. We are also backward compatible with all the previous revolutions of The Theory. This package is launched as a new Revolution of The Theory. So I cannot tell you more now. It is going to be a major media event which will double human wisdom overnight. Our major innovation is that we are not launching our package in an annual conference of the industry as usual but we are branding a whole new Revolution.
A1: Looking forward to my fractional universe t-shirt.
Dr. Gravytee: Fractional dimensions are real. The next generation of colliders proposed by our group is designed to observe the fractional dimensions.
A1: The Theory fully supports fractional dimensions so it is a given that the new colliders will observe them. Have you defined the matching ultimate elementary particles who live in fractional dimensions? Last time I walked by your office you were busy studying your Star Wars DVDs to come up with a media friendly catchy label for the new family of ultimate elementary building blocks of nature.
Dr. G: My group has been polishing the last details before we launch our package of the next ultimate Nature. We hired Burson-Marsteller, a world class New York PR firm. This time around we are registering the names of new particles and copyrighting the whole package. The package includes the fractional dimensions, fractional universes, matching fractional spacetimes, the suitable candidates for dark matter, a new paradigm for black hole candidates, and all other color coded phenomena in the universe, a new species of gravitatioal waves called fractional gravitational waves, a new fractional spin, and of course, we are covering all flavors of Einstein's General Relativity and we are introducing our fractional cosmological constant, and the whole package reduces to Newton in pedestrian energies. We are also backward compatible with all the previous revolutions of The Theory. This package is launched as a new Revolution of The Theory. So I cannot tell you more now. It is going to be a major media event which will double human wisdom overnight. Our major innovation is that we are not launching our package in an annual conference of the industry as usual but we are branding a whole new Revolution.
A1: Looking forward to my fractional universe t-shirt.
Monday, September 11, 2006
Experimental proof of Elegance
Admin1: Doctor Gravytee, how precisely is the constant of Elegance G of The Theory known?
Doctor Gravytee: The constant G was measured in 1798 by Henry Cavendish to a very high precision. In fact Cavendish's experimental measurement of G was so precise that his value could not be duplicated for a century.
A1: Since G is the least well-known constant of nature the high error in G would set the lower limit of G.
Dr. G: On the contrary G is so well known that when G is used in the same equation as G the elegance of G shines on G and makes G the second well-known constant of nature. Only when G is used alone that it is labeled the least well-known constant of nature.
Doctor Gravytee: The constant G was measured in 1798 by Henry Cavendish to a very high precision. In fact Cavendish's experimental measurement of G was so precise that his value could not be duplicated for a century.
A1: Since G is the least well-known constant of nature the high error in G would set the lower limit of G.
Dr. G: On the contrary G is so well known that when G is used in the same equation as G the elegance of G shines on G and makes G the second well-known constant of nature. Only when G is used alone that it is labeled the least well-known constant of nature.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
The Unit of Elegance
Admin1: Doctor Gravytee, what is the ultimate purpose of The Theory?
Doctor Gravytee: The Theory has already achieved its fundamental objective.
A1: Which is?
Dr. G: The Theory is infinitely elegant. The Doctors of Alphysics have succeeded in creating the most elegant theory ever. There are no other theory which even comes close to being so elegant. The importance of this fact cannot be underestimated. Since the theory is so elegant the Universe must also be elegant. Therefore, that the Universe we are living in is found to be elegant as predicted by The Theory is one of the strongest experimental evidence that The Theory is correct.
A1: What is the proof that the universe we are living in is elegant?
Dr. G: The elegance of the universe is proved beyond any doubt by a bestseller book. Millions of readers around the globe cannot be wrong.
A1: Is there an objective of The Theory other than being elegantly elegant?
Dr. G: The Theory is the perfect image of the Universe. Elegance is the fundamental scientific quantity that alphysicists discovered in Nature. Therefore if The Theory is correct in its elegance it is also correct in all other details.
A1: Can you give an example?
Dr. G: The standard example is the Standard Model. As opposed to The Theory which is the definition of elegance, Standard Model is the ugliness itself. The reason for this is that Standard Model is an enormous patchwork of epicycles piled on top of each other by older generations of alphysicists in order to save new phenomena they observed in their colliders. In Standard Model you do not see the epicycles because in Standard Model epicycles are not represented geometrically. In the 19th century a French researcher had the brilliant idea of translating geometric epicycles into the language of equations. This was very fortunate because by the 19th century epicycles had acquired a reputation of being unscientific. The clever Doctors of Alphysics of previous generations used epicycles by calling them Fourier Transforms rather than epicycles and the media could not reproach Doctors for using epicycles. Using epicycles had become a scientific crime punisheable by being excommunicated from the academia. Nevertheless epicycles are very useful. They explain the motions of planets and they also explain very well the motions of particles observed in colliders.
A1: Your lecture on epicycles went on and on almost as long as the series of analytical epicycles in the standard model. What is the purpose of The Theory in one sentence, please?
Dr. G: Standard Model is what we call phenomenology. Older generations called phenomenology "saving the phenomena." Like epicycles this term too had acquired connototations that Doctors of Alphysics prefer to stay away from. You see, only geometric epicycles save the phenomena, analytic epicycle method on the other hand is a legitimate alphysical method and it is called phenomenology.
A1: The objective of The Theory in one sentence please.
Dr. G: Standard Model has no rule; we are looking for a rule based elegant theory which would explain elegantly all the motions of particles.
A1: Thank you. Therefore The Theory is trying to do what Newton did to planetary motions. Before Newton astronomers formed tables of observations to predict the motions of planets. Or they used "standard models" such as Ptolemy's epicyclic theory. Newton discovered the Universal law of gravity and wrote down his famous equations of motion. In other words he discarded all those ugly epicycles and ungainly tables and established a rule based system. He discovered the fundamental rule of nature.
Dr. G: Yes. And in the Newtonian world this is force. In The Theory this is elegance.
A1: Is there a unit of Elegance in The Theory and what its relation to Newton?
Dr. G: The unit of elegance in The Theory is the Greene. One Greene equals G divided by 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Newtons.
A1: Is that G as in G Newton's constant of Universal gravity.
Dr. G: Yes.
Doctor Gravytee: The Theory has already achieved its fundamental objective.
A1: Which is?
Dr. G: The Theory is infinitely elegant. The Doctors of Alphysics have succeeded in creating the most elegant theory ever. There are no other theory which even comes close to being so elegant. The importance of this fact cannot be underestimated. Since the theory is so elegant the Universe must also be elegant. Therefore, that the Universe we are living in is found to be elegant as predicted by The Theory is one of the strongest experimental evidence that The Theory is correct.
A1: What is the proof that the universe we are living in is elegant?
Dr. G: The elegance of the universe is proved beyond any doubt by a bestseller book. Millions of readers around the globe cannot be wrong.
A1: Is there an objective of The Theory other than being elegantly elegant?
Dr. G: The Theory is the perfect image of the Universe. Elegance is the fundamental scientific quantity that alphysicists discovered in Nature. Therefore if The Theory is correct in its elegance it is also correct in all other details.
A1: Can you give an example?
Dr. G: The standard example is the Standard Model. As opposed to The Theory which is the definition of elegance, Standard Model is the ugliness itself. The reason for this is that Standard Model is an enormous patchwork of epicycles piled on top of each other by older generations of alphysicists in order to save new phenomena they observed in their colliders. In Standard Model you do not see the epicycles because in Standard Model epicycles are not represented geometrically. In the 19th century a French researcher had the brilliant idea of translating geometric epicycles into the language of equations. This was very fortunate because by the 19th century epicycles had acquired a reputation of being unscientific. The clever Doctors of Alphysics of previous generations used epicycles by calling them Fourier Transforms rather than epicycles and the media could not reproach Doctors for using epicycles. Using epicycles had become a scientific crime punisheable by being excommunicated from the academia. Nevertheless epicycles are very useful. They explain the motions of planets and they also explain very well the motions of particles observed in colliders.
A1: Your lecture on epicycles went on and on almost as long as the series of analytical epicycles in the standard model. What is the purpose of The Theory in one sentence, please?
Dr. G: Standard Model is what we call phenomenology. Older generations called phenomenology "saving the phenomena." Like epicycles this term too had acquired connototations that Doctors of Alphysics prefer to stay away from. You see, only geometric epicycles save the phenomena, analytic epicycle method on the other hand is a legitimate alphysical method and it is called phenomenology.
A1: The objective of The Theory in one sentence please.
Dr. G: Standard Model has no rule; we are looking for a rule based elegant theory which would explain elegantly all the motions of particles.
A1: Thank you. Therefore The Theory is trying to do what Newton did to planetary motions. Before Newton astronomers formed tables of observations to predict the motions of planets. Or they used "standard models" such as Ptolemy's epicyclic theory. Newton discovered the Universal law of gravity and wrote down his famous equations of motion. In other words he discarded all those ugly epicycles and ungainly tables and established a rule based system. He discovered the fundamental rule of nature.
Dr. G: Yes. And in the Newtonian world this is force. In The Theory this is elegance.
A1: Is there a unit of Elegance in The Theory and what its relation to Newton?
Dr. G: The unit of elegance in The Theory is the Greene. One Greene equals G divided by 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Newtons.
A1: Is that G as in G Newton's constant of Universal gravity.
Dr. G: Yes.
Saturday, September 09, 2006
The M-Theory
Admin1: Dr. Gravytee, what does M in your name stand for?
Doctor Gravytee: M is my middle initial.
A1: What does your middle initial M stand for Dr. Al M. Gravytee?
Doctor G: No one knows. The dictionary lists more than 7000 words starting with the letter M. My initial could be any one of them.
A1: Did you ever get in trouble with the government for not being able to spell out your middle initial?
Doctor G: In science we define initials very precisely. Government does not know what science is. In science, the most undefined symbols are the best defined symbols. No one knows what M in M Theory stand for. Therefore, M is much better known than G, even though G is an experimentally verified quantity it is the least known constant of nature. M in M-Theory can stand for "Murky," yet it is known to Doctors of Alphysics with extreme precision.
A1: You seem to equate alphysics with science.
Dr. G: Alphysics is the crowning achievement of humanity. It is the language God used to write the code of nature. In alphysics you define any symbol as many times as possible and this makes them alscientific. Science and physics are dead. Science is not really scientific. Alscience is science. Alphysics is physics.
A1: Can we say more properly that science is aldead? Since in alphysics the meaning of dead is myriad.
Dr. G: In alphysics when we say that something is something this doesn't mean that something is really something. For instance, in alphysics vacuum is not really vacuum. In alphysics zero is not really zero. In alphysics one is not really one. In alphysics even absurd is not absurd, it is routine.
A1: This alphysics must be a fascinating new alscience.
Dr. G: No. It is science. Remember, science is aldead, long live alphysics.
Doctor Gravytee: M is my middle initial.
A1: What does your middle initial M stand for Dr. Al M. Gravytee?
Doctor G: No one knows. The dictionary lists more than 7000 words starting with the letter M. My initial could be any one of them.
A1: Did you ever get in trouble with the government for not being able to spell out your middle initial?
Doctor G: In science we define initials very precisely. Government does not know what science is. In science, the most undefined symbols are the best defined symbols. No one knows what M in M Theory stand for. Therefore, M is much better known than G, even though G is an experimentally verified quantity it is the least known constant of nature. M in M-Theory can stand for "Murky," yet it is known to Doctors of Alphysics with extreme precision.
A1: You seem to equate alphysics with science.
Dr. G: Alphysics is the crowning achievement of humanity. It is the language God used to write the code of nature. In alphysics you define any symbol as many times as possible and this makes them alscientific. Science and physics are dead. Science is not really scientific. Alscience is science. Alphysics is physics.
A1: Can we say more properly that science is aldead? Since in alphysics the meaning of dead is myriad.
Dr. G: In alphysics when we say that something is something this doesn't mean that something is really something. For instance, in alphysics vacuum is not really vacuum. In alphysics zero is not really zero. In alphysics one is not really one. In alphysics even absurd is not absurd, it is routine.
A1: This alphysics must be a fascinating new alscience.
Dr. G: No. It is science. Remember, science is aldead, long live alphysics.
Friday, September 08, 2006
Is Alphysics Religion
Admin1: Is Alphysics religion?
Doctor Gravytee: History is the story of the strife between religion and science. At any given time both religion and science are present. Sometimes religion is dominant and sometimes science is dominant. For rational people who live at a given era it is almost impossible to discern religion from science and science from religion.
A1: Alphysics have religious elements and scientific elements?
Doctor G: Alphysics is three dimensional. It is made of Science, Religion and Art. Alphysics is based on the concept of symmetry. Therefore it is Design. Design is both Art and Science. Alphysics also investigates ultimate and absolute questions and strives to find the cause of everything -- what we call, Theory of Everything, which is the modern name of the grand old scholastic concept of Soul -- therefore it is also religion.
A1: Do you then condone employment of a Religious Doctor by an alphysics department?
Doctor G: Historically there is no difference between Theologial Doctors and Doctors of Philosophy. Both are Doctors. Alphysicists are Doctors of Philosophy. For instance, Harvard University physics department employs a Doctor of Philosophy who is an openly religious zealot. This Doctor of Philosophy openly claims that he knows the language with which God wrote the script of Nature. This is the attitude of a demagogue, not a Theological Doctor. All Doctors are demagogues so this is a natureal behavior of any Doctor. This young Doctor has just discovered the old method of using the name of God to further his career. All demagogues claim that God is on their side. How trite. But such statements create controversy and establish fame for the Doctor. In this case it worked and the Doctor in question is already has made a name for himself and he can even be more notorious if he could focus his enormous polemical powers on serious topics such as the infinity of universes in the fractional extra dimensions. But he needs to find a catchy jingle for his revolutionary idea. He does not yet have such a jingle because he spends his time blogging about political issues and using the name and authority of Harvard university to win petty demagogical victories.
A1: So you see nothing wrong with Harvard University alphysics department employing a religious zealot.
Dr. G: No. I see poor taste on the part of Harvard. Harvard University is a world class brand. By employing a petty, but prolific, demagogue, and letting him use Harvard's good name, they are diluting one of the best American brands. That's a shame.
A1: I believe Harvard is betting on this Doctor to eventually get a monster book contract which will than contribute to Harvard brand.
Dr. G: This is true. But I don't believe that the Doctor in question has that capacity.
Doctor Gravytee: History is the story of the strife between religion and science. At any given time both religion and science are present. Sometimes religion is dominant and sometimes science is dominant. For rational people who live at a given era it is almost impossible to discern religion from science and science from religion.
A1: Alphysics have religious elements and scientific elements?
Doctor G: Alphysics is three dimensional. It is made of Science, Religion and Art. Alphysics is based on the concept of symmetry. Therefore it is Design. Design is both Art and Science. Alphysics also investigates ultimate and absolute questions and strives to find the cause of everything -- what we call, Theory of Everything, which is the modern name of the grand old scholastic concept of Soul -- therefore it is also religion.
A1: Do you then condone employment of a Religious Doctor by an alphysics department?
Doctor G: Historically there is no difference between Theologial Doctors and Doctors of Philosophy. Both are Doctors. Alphysicists are Doctors of Philosophy. For instance, Harvard University physics department employs a Doctor of Philosophy who is an openly religious zealot. This Doctor of Philosophy openly claims that he knows the language with which God wrote the script of Nature. This is the attitude of a demagogue, not a Theological Doctor. All Doctors are demagogues so this is a natureal behavior of any Doctor. This young Doctor has just discovered the old method of using the name of God to further his career. All demagogues claim that God is on their side. How trite. But such statements create controversy and establish fame for the Doctor. In this case it worked and the Doctor in question is already has made a name for himself and he can even be more notorious if he could focus his enormous polemical powers on serious topics such as the infinity of universes in the fractional extra dimensions. But he needs to find a catchy jingle for his revolutionary idea. He does not yet have such a jingle because he spends his time blogging about political issues and using the name and authority of Harvard university to win petty demagogical victories.
A1: So you see nothing wrong with Harvard University alphysics department employing a religious zealot.
Dr. G: No. I see poor taste on the part of Harvard. Harvard University is a world class brand. By employing a petty, but prolific, demagogue, and letting him use Harvard's good name, they are diluting one of the best American brands. That's a shame.
A1: I believe Harvard is betting on this Doctor to eventually get a monster book contract which will than contribute to Harvard brand.
Dr. G: This is true. But I don't believe that the Doctor in question has that capacity.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Alphysics Education
Admin1: Alphysics education is one of the greatest achievements of humans. But I believe that there is a shortcoming that Doctors need to fix.
Doctor Gravytee: What is this shortcoming that is troubling you?
A1: The alphysics part of the education is so intense that students do not get enough of English language skills.
Dr. G: Do you have a mathematical proof of your claim?
A1: Well, Doctors who go through the rigorous alphysics education earn their Doctorate and become impeccable solvers of Partial Differential Equations but they have no proper knowledge of English grammar.
Dr. G: When you speak the language of mathematics so well I believe this is an acceptable situation.
A1: Take the word "ultimate." I noticed that the great alphysics Doctors of one generation ago discovered ultimate building blocks of nature.
Dr. G: Indeed so.
A1: With the advent in collider technology now your generation discovered the ultimate building blocks of nature. Either you or the great Doctors of the previous generation did not learn enough English to know the meaning of the word ultimate.
Dr. G: I think you are mistaken. Not only the previous generation of great alphysicists but every generation since the beginning of alphysics thousands of years ago have been discovering the ultimate building blocks of nature.
A1: Then nature must be made of ultimate building blocks of nature and nothing else.
Dr. G: True. According to The Theory there are an infinity of ultimate building blocks living in infite number of universes...
A1: ... and in infinite numbers of dimensions! This is beautiful. But what about the word "everything." Doctors do not know what the word everything means.
Dr. G: I believe you do not know what the word everything means. In alphysics a generation who did not cook up their own ultimate theory of everything did not yet happen.
A1: Then, why isn't there an ultimate universes invented by each generation of Doctors of alphysics?
Dr. G: Grammatically speaking universe is a word which does not have a plural. This does not mean that Doctors are ignorant of grammar it only means that the English language is not precise enough to discuss alphysical subjects such as the universes.
A1: How many ultimate universes does The Theory predict at the present Revolution number?
Dr. G: This is a question which cannot be answered without getting involved with the infinitely elegant mathematicism of The Theory. You need to go through the alphysics education and admitted to the Brotherhood in order to understand The Theory.
A1: Thanks. But, no thanks. I can solve Partial Differential Equations in my laptop without dispensing a fortune in order to add a useless title at the end of my name.
Doctor Gravytee: What is this shortcoming that is troubling you?
A1: The alphysics part of the education is so intense that students do not get enough of English language skills.
Dr. G: Do you have a mathematical proof of your claim?
A1: Well, Doctors who go through the rigorous alphysics education earn their Doctorate and become impeccable solvers of Partial Differential Equations but they have no proper knowledge of English grammar.
Dr. G: When you speak the language of mathematics so well I believe this is an acceptable situation.
A1: Take the word "ultimate." I noticed that the great alphysics Doctors of one generation ago discovered ultimate building blocks of nature.
Dr. G: Indeed so.
A1: With the advent in collider technology now your generation discovered the ultimate building blocks of nature. Either you or the great Doctors of the previous generation did not learn enough English to know the meaning of the word ultimate.
Dr. G: I think you are mistaken. Not only the previous generation of great alphysicists but every generation since the beginning of alphysics thousands of years ago have been discovering the ultimate building blocks of nature.
A1: Then nature must be made of ultimate building blocks of nature and nothing else.
Dr. G: True. According to The Theory there are an infinity of ultimate building blocks living in infite number of universes...
A1: ... and in infinite numbers of dimensions! This is beautiful. But what about the word "everything." Doctors do not know what the word everything means.
Dr. G: I believe you do not know what the word everything means. In alphysics a generation who did not cook up their own ultimate theory of everything did not yet happen.
A1: Then, why isn't there an ultimate universes invented by each generation of Doctors of alphysics?
Dr. G: Grammatically speaking universe is a word which does not have a plural. This does not mean that Doctors are ignorant of grammar it only means that the English language is not precise enough to discuss alphysical subjects such as the universes.
A1: How many ultimate universes does The Theory predict at the present Revolution number?
Dr. G: This is a question which cannot be answered without getting involved with the infinitely elegant mathematicism of The Theory. You need to go through the alphysics education and admitted to the Brotherhood in order to understand The Theory.
A1: Thanks. But, no thanks. I can solve Partial Differential Equations in my laptop without dispensing a fortune in order to add a useless title at the end of my name.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Unification
Admin1: For the last 75 years 90 per cent of Doctors of Alphysics have been spending their time in Unification. Is this unique to alphysics? Why should civilian population care if two irreconcilable departments of Alphysics are irreconcilable?
Dr. Gravytee: Good question. Unification is a time honored method in Doctor space. Whether it be Doctors of Theology or Doctors of Philosophy, unification is a legitimate vehicle for career advancement.
A1: Doctors of Theology call their unification Ecumenism. But as you know there is a difference. Theological Doctors are trying to unite different Doctoral sects. The good Doctors of Alphysics are trying to unify two different sections of their doctrine.
Dr. G: The difference is only apparent. In practice Doctors of Alphysics are aligned in sects. If a Doctor belongs to the Princeton sect, he must believe in the Princeton Doctrine. If a Doctor practices in Chicago then he will believe in the Chicago Doctrine. These are distinct sects because each sect has its own ritual of moving around symbols in their doctrines.
A1: Are you saying that the worship of Doctors of Alphysics is derivation?
Dr. G: Not exactly, but close. The ritual of derivation is sacred. The more books there are the more sects there are.
A1: Then, in Alphysics unification is more like the ongoing attempts to unify Windows code with Apple. So why is it taking so long for Doctors of Alphysics to come up with Linux?
Dr. G: This is not as simple. If Windows is a proprietary code of 1 million lines, alphysics is a proprietary code of 1 billion lines and growing with each generation. This gives you an idea about the scale of the problem. No one alphysicist knows the entire 1 billion lines of codes. And each Doctor who is an expert in a small section of the code tries to protect his little territory by marketing it as the most important part of the code.
A1: Another difference between Windows code and Alphysics code is that Windows allows you to make many useful things with it. With the code of Alphysics nothing useful can be done.
Dr. G: Not true at all. If you study alphysics code for 15 or so years you may be able to calculate the error in Mercury's motion.
A1: Amazing. It is even more amazing that the error in Mercury's motion was computed by people who knew nothing about Alphysics.
Dr. Gravytee: Good question. Unification is a time honored method in Doctor space. Whether it be Doctors of Theology or Doctors of Philosophy, unification is a legitimate vehicle for career advancement.
A1: Doctors of Theology call their unification Ecumenism. But as you know there is a difference. Theological Doctors are trying to unite different Doctoral sects. The good Doctors of Alphysics are trying to unify two different sections of their doctrine.
Dr. G: The difference is only apparent. In practice Doctors of Alphysics are aligned in sects. If a Doctor belongs to the Princeton sect, he must believe in the Princeton Doctrine. If a Doctor practices in Chicago then he will believe in the Chicago Doctrine. These are distinct sects because each sect has its own ritual of moving around symbols in their doctrines.
A1: Are you saying that the worship of Doctors of Alphysics is derivation?
Dr. G: Not exactly, but close. The ritual of derivation is sacred. The more books there are the more sects there are.
A1: Then, in Alphysics unification is more like the ongoing attempts to unify Windows code with Apple. So why is it taking so long for Doctors of Alphysics to come up with Linux?
Dr. G: This is not as simple. If Windows is a proprietary code of 1 million lines, alphysics is a proprietary code of 1 billion lines and growing with each generation. This gives you an idea about the scale of the problem. No one alphysicist knows the entire 1 billion lines of codes. And each Doctor who is an expert in a small section of the code tries to protect his little territory by marketing it as the most important part of the code.
A1: Another difference between Windows code and Alphysics code is that Windows allows you to make many useful things with it. With the code of Alphysics nothing useful can be done.
Dr. G: Not true at all. If you study alphysics code for 15 or so years you may be able to calculate the error in Mercury's motion.
A1: Amazing. It is even more amazing that the error in Mercury's motion was computed by people who knew nothing about Alphysics.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Sharing
Admin1: Doctor Gravytee, is it better to hide knowledge or is it better to share knowledge?
Dr. G: It is best to share the hidden knowledge. This is what Doctors of Alphysics do.
Dr. G: It is best to share the hidden knowledge. This is what Doctors of Alphysics do.
Monday, September 04, 2006
Doctors prove that they are Doctors
Admin1: Doctor Gravytee, your impressive doctoral credentials are displayed after your name. But is there a common trait that a civilian can associate with Doctors in general without looking at their proud display of doctorships?
Doctor Gravytee: You bet. Doctors of alphysics are very predictable. This is a fundamental trait of the profession. Consider these recent events:
1. A group of Doctors of alphysics define an immense set of symbols and the rules to move those symbols around in a ceremonious ritual. They say their set of symbols is right.
2. A second group of Doctors of alphysics write another set containing a prodigious amount of symbols and even more complex rules defining how to move the symbols around in order to bring them on either side of an equality sign and by using their own set this group of alphysical Doctors prove beyond any reasonable doubt that the first group of Doctors is wrong.
3. Now a third group of Doctors of alphysics take their time until the countless commentaries poring out of these two camps force arxiv.org to buy more servers and then they publish their own commentary proving that the system of symbols and rules invented by the previously mentioned Doctors is not even wrong or N.E.W.
This pattern of behavior is so old and so well-known that there is a name for it: scholasticism.
A1: The first group of Doctors with industrial strength Authority earned by astronomic book contracts say that The Theory is right. An equally authoritative group of Doctors say that The Theory is wrong. And, another group of Doctors, with world class Authority tell us that The Theory is Not Even Wrong. How do we decide?
Dr. Gravytee: What do you mean "decide?" Decide what? This is alphysics. Intramural turf wars is alphysics. When we achieve the critical mass of splitting the theory into its ultimate fundamental building blocks we will start the process of Unification. You see, the more theory the merrier.
A1: I believe that it would be nice to know which of the Doctors are right and which are wrong and which are Not Even Wrong.
Dr. Gravytee: Alphysics has an old and distinguished tradition of Elegance. What you are implying requires the introduction in alphysics of something ugly that Doctors of alphysics never heard of: Science. Only in a scientific field a simple judgment like "Right" or "Wrong" can be effected. Alphysics is Elegance itself and there is no Right or Wrong in it.
A1: I stand corrected.
Doctor Gravytee: You bet. Doctors of alphysics are very predictable. This is a fundamental trait of the profession. Consider these recent events:
1. A group of Doctors of alphysics define an immense set of symbols and the rules to move those symbols around in a ceremonious ritual. They say their set of symbols is right.
2. A second group of Doctors of alphysics write another set containing a prodigious amount of symbols and even more complex rules defining how to move the symbols around in order to bring them on either side of an equality sign and by using their own set this group of alphysical Doctors prove beyond any reasonable doubt that the first group of Doctors is wrong.
3. Now a third group of Doctors of alphysics take their time until the countless commentaries poring out of these two camps force arxiv.org to buy more servers and then they publish their own commentary proving that the system of symbols and rules invented by the previously mentioned Doctors is not even wrong or N.E.W.
This pattern of behavior is so old and so well-known that there is a name for it: scholasticism.
A1: The first group of Doctors with industrial strength Authority earned by astronomic book contracts say that The Theory is right. An equally authoritative group of Doctors say that The Theory is wrong. And, another group of Doctors, with world class Authority tell us that The Theory is Not Even Wrong. How do we decide?
Dr. Gravytee: What do you mean "decide?" Decide what? This is alphysics. Intramural turf wars is alphysics. When we achieve the critical mass of splitting the theory into its ultimate fundamental building blocks we will start the process of Unification. You see, the more theory the merrier.
A1: I believe that it would be nice to know which of the Doctors are right and which are wrong and which are Not Even Wrong.
Dr. Gravytee: Alphysics has an old and distinguished tradition of Elegance. What you are implying requires the introduction in alphysics of something ugly that Doctors of alphysics never heard of: Science. Only in a scientific field a simple judgment like "Right" or "Wrong" can be effected. Alphysics is Elegance itself and there is no Right or Wrong in it.
A1: I stand corrected.
Nothing
Admin1: Dr. Gravytee, you have no doubt heard about the Pluto brouhaha. Wouldn't you say it is a tempest in a teacup?
Dr. Gravytee: I would say it is more like infinite oscillations in deSitter vacuum.
A1: That's a lot of nothing happenning in nothing, is it not?
Dr. G: Remember that in alphysics nothing does not mean nothing.
A1: You mean in alphysics nothing means nothing.
Dr. G: In alphysics nothing is a spectrum.
A1: You are also fond of saying that in alphysics zero is a spectrum stretching from minus infinity to plus infinity. What is the alphysical relation between nothing and zero?
Dr. G: Your question contains your answer: In alphysics infinity connects zero and nothing.
A1: Infinity in alphysics has all the shades of purple haze, does it not?
Dr. G: Don't confuse zero with nothing. Zero does not mean nothing in high alphysics although there exists legitimate spacetimes where in the Newtonian limit zero reduces to nothing. But that's the kind of trivial solution that would only impress an undergraduate.
A1: Thank you Dr. Gravytee.
Dr. G: Nothing at all.
Dr. Gravytee: I would say it is more like infinite oscillations in deSitter vacuum.
A1: That's a lot of nothing happenning in nothing, is it not?
Dr. G: Remember that in alphysics nothing does not mean nothing.
A1: You mean in alphysics nothing means nothing.
Dr. G: In alphysics nothing is a spectrum.
A1: You are also fond of saying that in alphysics zero is a spectrum stretching from minus infinity to plus infinity. What is the alphysical relation between nothing and zero?
Dr. G: Your question contains your answer: In alphysics infinity connects zero and nothing.
A1: Infinity in alphysics has all the shades of purple haze, does it not?
Dr. G: Don't confuse zero with nothing. Zero does not mean nothing in high alphysics although there exists legitimate spacetimes where in the Newtonian limit zero reduces to nothing. But that's the kind of trivial solution that would only impress an undergraduate.
A1: Thank you Dr. Gravytee.
Dr. G: Nothing at all.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Introduction
Written by Dr. Al M. Gravytee, PhD, J.D. EdD, EngD, DBA, DD, DSc, DLitt, DA, DMA, DMus, DCL, ThD, DrPH, DPT, , PsyD, DSW, LL.D., J.S.D., S.J.D., S.T.D., E.t.c...
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