Admin1: For the last 75 years 90 per cent of Doctors of Alphysics have been spending their time in Unification. Is this unique to alphysics? Why should civilian population care if two irreconcilable departments of Alphysics are irreconcilable?
Dr. Gravytee: Good question. Unification is a time honored method in Doctor space. Whether it be Doctors of Theology or Doctors of Philosophy, unification is a legitimate vehicle for career advancement.
A1: Doctors of Theology call their unification Ecumenism. But as you know there is a difference. Theological Doctors are trying to unite different Doctoral sects. The good Doctors of Alphysics are trying to unify two different sections of their doctrine.
Dr. G: The difference is only apparent. In practice Doctors of Alphysics are aligned in sects. If a Doctor belongs to the Princeton sect, he must believe in the Princeton Doctrine. If a Doctor practices in Chicago then he will believe in the Chicago Doctrine. These are distinct sects because each sect has its own ritual of moving around symbols in their doctrines.
A1: Are you saying that the worship of Doctors of Alphysics is derivation?
Dr. G: Not exactly, but close. The ritual of derivation is sacred. The more books there are the more sects there are.
A1: Then, in Alphysics unification is more like the ongoing attempts to unify Windows code with Apple. So why is it taking so long for Doctors of Alphysics to come up with Linux?
Dr. G: This is not as simple. If Windows is a proprietary code of 1 million lines, alphysics is a proprietary code of 1 billion lines and growing with each generation. This gives you an idea about the scale of the problem. No one alphysicist knows the entire 1 billion lines of codes. And each Doctor who is an expert in a small section of the code tries to protect his little territory by marketing it as the most important part of the code.
A1: Another difference between Windows code and Alphysics code is that Windows allows you to make many useful things with it. With the code of Alphysics nothing useful can be done.
Dr. G: Not true at all. If you study alphysics code for 15 or so years you may be able to calculate the error in Mercury's motion.
A1: Amazing. It is even more amazing that the error in Mercury's motion was computed by people who knew nothing about Alphysics.
