Admin1: Doctor Gravytee, your impressive doctoral credentials are displayed after your name. But is there a common trait that a civilian can associate with Doctors in general without looking at their proud display of doctorships?
Doctor Gravytee: You bet. Doctors of alphysics are very predictable. This is a fundamental trait of the profession. Consider these recent events:
1. A group of Doctors of alphysics define an immense set of symbols and the rules to move those symbols around in a ceremonious ritual. They say their set of symbols is right.
2. A second group of Doctors of alphysics write another set containing a prodigious amount of symbols and even more complex rules defining how to move the symbols around in order to bring them on either side of an equality sign and by using their own set this group of alphysical Doctors prove beyond any reasonable doubt that the first group of Doctors is wrong.
3. Now a third group of Doctors of alphysics take their time until the countless commentaries poring out of these two camps force arxiv.org to buy more servers and then they publish their own commentary proving that the system of symbols and rules invented by the previously mentioned Doctors is not even wrong or N.E.W.
This pattern of behavior is so old and so well-known that there is a name for it: scholasticism.
A1: The first group of Doctors with industrial strength Authority earned by astronomic book contracts say that The Theory is right. An equally authoritative group of Doctors say that The Theory is wrong. And, another group of Doctors, with world class Authority tell us that The Theory is Not Even Wrong. How do we decide?
Dr. Gravytee: What do you mean "decide?" Decide what? This is alphysics. Intramural turf wars is alphysics. When we achieve the critical mass of splitting the theory into its ultimate fundamental building blocks we will start the process of Unification. You see, the more theory the merrier.
A1: I believe that it would be nice to know which of the Doctors are right and which are wrong and which are Not Even Wrong.
Dr. Gravytee: Alphysics has an old and distinguished tradition of Elegance. What you are implying requires the introduction in alphysics of something ugly that Doctors of alphysics never heard of: Science. Only in a scientific field a simple judgment like "Right" or "Wrong" can be effected. Alphysics is Elegance itself and there is no Right or Wrong in it.
A1: I stand corrected.
