Admin1: What would you say is the dream of every Alphysics Doctor to achieve in his career?
Dr. Gravytee: To make a definition and have it named after yourself.
A1: That doesn't seem like a big deal.
Dr. G: I didn't want to raise anyone's hopes. The ultimate dream of any Alphysics Doctor is to start a school named after himself.
A1: I see. If your name is not Newton don't even try.
Dr. G: The second ultimate dream is to have a unit named after yourself.
A1: Not likely either.
Dr. G: There is a current war among Doctors of Alphysics to create a unit of surface. But there is no clear winner yet. As usual in such turf wars Doctors will perpetuate the war as long as they can and squeeze every ounce of publication possibilities. This way the process of negotiations itself becomes a legal scholastic discipline. The whole thing may last about a century.
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Alphysics of Alphysics
Admin1: How much alphysics do alphysicists use to do their work?
Dr. Gravytee: None.
A1: What do you use if not alphysics?
Dr. G: We use back of the envelope calculations then translate it to alphysics.
Dr. Gravytee: None.
A1: What do you use if not alphysics?
Dr. G: We use back of the envelope calculations then translate it to alphysics.
Friday, December 29, 2006
What is Science
Admin1: Who defines science?
Doctor Gravity: Big Media defines science.
A1: What is science?
Dr. G: Science is what sells.
A1: How do we know it is science.
Dr. G: Go to science section.
Doctor Gravity: Big Media defines science.
A1: What is science?
Dr. G: Science is what sells.
A1: How do we know it is science.
Dr. G: Go to science section.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Never Simplify, Popularize
Admin1: Why do Doctors of Alphysics always popularize but never simplify?
Dr. Gravytee: If we simplify an equation we would get either an identity or a proportionality. If we popularize we may get a book contract.
A1: If you simplify you lose all your authority. If your equation is publicly legible your authority is not needed.
Dr. G: A Doctor of Alphysics has infinite authority.
A1: Infinite authority?
Dr. G: Yes. No force in the universe can revoke our license called the PhD which endows us with authority.
Dr. Gravytee: If we simplify an equation we would get either an identity or a proportionality. If we popularize we may get a book contract.
A1: If you simplify you lose all your authority. If your equation is publicly legible your authority is not needed.
Dr. G: A Doctor of Alphysics has infinite authority.
A1: Infinite authority?
Dr. G: Yes. No force in the universe can revoke our license called the PhD which endows us with authority.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Legalize Absurd
Admin1: Historians discovered that Newton titled his book Scholastic Principles of Mathematical Philosophy but the printer goofed and had the title set as Mathematical Principles of Natural Philosophy.
Dr. Gravytee: This is wishful thinking on the parts of historians. Newton would never have allowed such a thing to happen.
A1: You mean Newton would have proofread the galleys and made sure that the title was correct?
Dr. G: No. Newton wrote his Principia to be the monumental book of the Scholastic Principles of Mathematical Philosophy.
A1: Why didn't he use that title then?
Dr. G: Newton is the greatest marketing genius of all times. In marketing only one thing matters: You must talk to your market in the language your market would understand.
A1: Who was Newton's market.
Dr. G: Newton knew very well who his market was. Newton wrote his monumental book for his Scholastic colleagues.
A1: This makes sense. Only Scholastic Doctors of Philosophy could read books.
Dr. G: Scholastic Doctors of Theology were included in the audience Newton was aiming. Newton wrote for International Scholastic Doctors around the globe.
A1: Principia does not speak the language of scholasticism. It is a mathematical treatise. It is the most famous science book ever written.
Dr. G: Did you read Newton's Principia.
A1: Sure.
Dr. G: You mean you read the initial chapters where Newton discusses old scholastic subjects such as time, space, gravity, force, the universe, god's role in governing the universe and great polemical experiments such as the bucket experiment.
A1: Yes. I read all of that.
Dr. G: This is Newton's genius. Newton invented mathematical by association and experimental by association methods. By writing about philosophy and geometry under the same cover Newton united two scholastic disciplines.
A1: Doctors of Philosophy of today still use experimental by association.
Dr. G: Of course. It is a brilliant fraud against science.
A1: So all Newton did was to change the official language of scholasticism so that Doctors now philosophized with mathematics instead of Latin.
Dr. G: Philosophy is an old discipline. There is nothing wrong with philosophy as a scientific endeavor if done by scientists. Doctors of Philosophy are not scientists and they are not philosophers either. They are corruptors of languages. A Doctor of Philosophy is in fact a Doctor of the Absurd.
A1: Was absurd invented by Newton too?
Dr. G: No. Newton did not invent the absurd. Newton made the absurd legal in Scholasticism.
A1: How?
Dr. G: It was known for millennia that if you compare apples and oranges you would obtain an absurd result. Geometry and mathematics were good frameworks to investigate nature and they gave good results because it was forbidden to use mixed proportionalities in mathematics. Mixed proportionality is the comparison of apples and oranges.
A1: Did Newton make mixed proportionalities legal?
Dr. G: Open the best science book ever written and read the reference that I have given you. All of the absurd manufactured last three hundred years by Newtonian Doctors of Philosophy can be traced to Newton's marketing genius. He opened a whole new possibilities for Doctors to write commentary on by legalizing the absurd.
A1: If we make Newton illegal would we recover science?
Dr. G: We would. Post-Newtonian generation will enjoy Freedom of Science.
Dr. Gravytee: This is wishful thinking on the parts of historians. Newton would never have allowed such a thing to happen.
A1: You mean Newton would have proofread the galleys and made sure that the title was correct?
Dr. G: No. Newton wrote his Principia to be the monumental book of the Scholastic Principles of Mathematical Philosophy.
A1: Why didn't he use that title then?
Dr. G: Newton is the greatest marketing genius of all times. In marketing only one thing matters: You must talk to your market in the language your market would understand.
A1: Who was Newton's market.
Dr. G: Newton knew very well who his market was. Newton wrote his monumental book for his Scholastic colleagues.
A1: This makes sense. Only Scholastic Doctors of Philosophy could read books.
Dr. G: Scholastic Doctors of Theology were included in the audience Newton was aiming. Newton wrote for International Scholastic Doctors around the globe.
A1: Principia does not speak the language of scholasticism. It is a mathematical treatise. It is the most famous science book ever written.
Dr. G: Did you read Newton's Principia.
A1: Sure.
Dr. G: You mean you read the initial chapters where Newton discusses old scholastic subjects such as time, space, gravity, force, the universe, god's role in governing the universe and great polemical experiments such as the bucket experiment.
A1: Yes. I read all of that.
Dr. G: This is Newton's genius. Newton invented mathematical by association and experimental by association methods. By writing about philosophy and geometry under the same cover Newton united two scholastic disciplines.
A1: Doctors of Philosophy of today still use experimental by association.
Dr. G: Of course. It is a brilliant fraud against science.
A1: So all Newton did was to change the official language of scholasticism so that Doctors now philosophized with mathematics instead of Latin.
Dr. G: Philosophy is an old discipline. There is nothing wrong with philosophy as a scientific endeavor if done by scientists. Doctors of Philosophy are not scientists and they are not philosophers either. They are corruptors of languages. A Doctor of Philosophy is in fact a Doctor of the Absurd.
A1: Was absurd invented by Newton too?
Dr. G: No. Newton did not invent the absurd. Newton made the absurd legal in Scholasticism.
A1: How?
Dr. G: It was known for millennia that if you compare apples and oranges you would obtain an absurd result. Geometry and mathematics were good frameworks to investigate nature and they gave good results because it was forbidden to use mixed proportionalities in mathematics. Mixed proportionality is the comparison of apples and oranges.
A1: Did Newton make mixed proportionalities legal?
Dr. G: Open the best science book ever written and read the reference that I have given you. All of the absurd manufactured last three hundred years by Newtonian Doctors of Philosophy can be traced to Newton's marketing genius. He opened a whole new possibilities for Doctors to write commentary on by legalizing the absurd.
A1: If we make Newton illegal would we recover science?
Dr. G: We would. Post-Newtonian generation will enjoy Freedom of Science.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
How stuff is made
Admin1: In How stuff is made Natalie Jeremijenko is interested in investigating how stuff is made.
Doctor Gravytee: Alphysics is about how stuff is made as well. We are very interested about building blocks of the universe and the stuff which makes up the universe and even more, we are also interested in the stuff which does not make up our universe.
A1: Dark Matter.
Dr. Gravytee: If everything were visible that would be too boring.
A1: Assume that semi-famous Alphysics Doctor Lisa Randall decides to study how stuff is made. She picks up one of the same projects from the How stuff is made site: how are fortune cookies are made?
Dr. G: Lisa Randall too is interested in how stuff is made. But there is a difference. Natalie is a scientist. Lisa Randall is a Scholastic Alphysics Doctor. They think differently. To investigate how stuff is made Natalie investigates how stuff is made. Natalie does not try to fit how stuff is made into a 17th century doctrine. Lisa Randall has her doctrine and wants to fit nature into that doctrine. To investigate how stuff is made Lisa Randall does not investigate how stuff is made. She already knows how stuff is made, she is after absolutes.
A1: So Randall will apply her doctrines learned from books to the manufacture of cookies.
Dr. G: Doctor Randall would say that fortune cookies are made in China by Chinese by 17th century methods called the Standard Model of making cookies. Then Lisa would write down equations that will reveal all of the messages in all of the universes that one can find in fortune cookies. This great discovery she will call Lisa’s Theory of Everything.
A1: But fortune cookies are manufactured in Philadelphia.
Dr. G: Faced with this experimental fact Doctor Randall will simply use her immense mathematical skills and write
Philadelphia = China
A1: That looks like a definition.
Dr. G: If Philadelphia = China is written in Nambu-Goto flavored action in AdS/CFT renormalized correspondence space you cannot tell that it is a definition.
Doctor Gravytee: Alphysics is about how stuff is made as well. We are very interested about building blocks of the universe and the stuff which makes up the universe and even more, we are also interested in the stuff which does not make up our universe.
A1: Dark Matter.
Dr. Gravytee: If everything were visible that would be too boring.
A1: Assume that semi-famous Alphysics Doctor Lisa Randall decides to study how stuff is made. She picks up one of the same projects from the How stuff is made site: how are fortune cookies are made?
Dr. G: Lisa Randall too is interested in how stuff is made. But there is a difference. Natalie is a scientist. Lisa Randall is a Scholastic Alphysics Doctor. They think differently. To investigate how stuff is made Natalie investigates how stuff is made. Natalie does not try to fit how stuff is made into a 17th century doctrine. Lisa Randall has her doctrine and wants to fit nature into that doctrine. To investigate how stuff is made Lisa Randall does not investigate how stuff is made. She already knows how stuff is made, she is after absolutes.
A1: So Randall will apply her doctrines learned from books to the manufacture of cookies.
Dr. G: Doctor Randall would say that fortune cookies are made in China by Chinese by 17th century methods called the Standard Model of making cookies. Then Lisa would write down equations that will reveal all of the messages in all of the universes that one can find in fortune cookies. This great discovery she will call Lisa’s Theory of Everything.
A1: But fortune cookies are manufactured in Philadelphia.
Dr. G: Faced with this experimental fact Doctor Randall will simply use her immense mathematical skills and write
Philadelphia = China
A1: That looks like a definition.
Dr. G: If Philadelphia = China is written in Nambu-Goto flavored action in AdS/CFT renormalized correspondence space you cannot tell that it is a definition.
Monday, December 25, 2006
Fundamenal Research
Admin1: Doctors of Alphysics claim that Alphysics is the only tool that can be used to do fundamental research.
Dr. Gravytee: The reason is Doctors of Alphysics are ignorant of history. They confuse professional mythology they learn at school with history. Alphysics education does not include a study of alphysics history. An average Doctor's knowledge of alphysics history is limited with the sidebars in Halliday & Resnick. The entire education of Doctors is dedicated in learning skills like solving partial differential equations and memorizing professional mythology such as what a great genius Newton was, has been, is and will be. In order to worship their God Newton Doctors of Alphysics invented a special prayer book called Celestial Mechanics.
A1: Celestial Mechanics is astronomy loaded with Newtonian symbols of vanishing kind.
Dr. G: Doctors eliminate those symbols and recover astronomy and congratulate themselve for saving Newton's authority. They call this ritual derivation.
A1: Why not use astronomy directly?
Dr. G: Are you suggesting that we stop hailing Newton's authority by not following exactly the laws he set out for us to follow?
A1: My apologies. I did not intend to propose such a scientific and revolutionary concept.
Dr. G: Doctors think high level frameworks they invented such as Celestial Mechanics, Mathematicism or Alphysics are tools with which they can do fundamental research because Newton told them so. But Alphysics as a whole has units and it is not suited for fundamental research it is only suited for philosophizing. And philosophy is what Doctors of Alphysics do.
A1: I see. You cannot study the fundamental with a tool which is not fundamental you can only write polemical philosophy with it.
Dr. G: Luckily Doctors of Alphysics have the hereditary authority to define what fundamental is. Therefore, each Doctor defines what he is doing at the moment as fundamental research which is about to reveal the most fundamental secrets of the universe.
Dr. Gravytee: The reason is Doctors of Alphysics are ignorant of history. They confuse professional mythology they learn at school with history. Alphysics education does not include a study of alphysics history. An average Doctor's knowledge of alphysics history is limited with the sidebars in Halliday & Resnick. The entire education of Doctors is dedicated in learning skills like solving partial differential equations and memorizing professional mythology such as what a great genius Newton was, has been, is and will be. In order to worship their God Newton Doctors of Alphysics invented a special prayer book called Celestial Mechanics.
A1: Celestial Mechanics is astronomy loaded with Newtonian symbols of vanishing kind.
Dr. G: Doctors eliminate those symbols and recover astronomy and congratulate themselve for saving Newton's authority. They call this ritual derivation.
A1: Why not use astronomy directly?
Dr. G: Are you suggesting that we stop hailing Newton's authority by not following exactly the laws he set out for us to follow?
A1: My apologies. I did not intend to propose such a scientific and revolutionary concept.
Dr. G: Doctors think high level frameworks they invented such as Celestial Mechanics, Mathematicism or Alphysics are tools with which they can do fundamental research because Newton told them so. But Alphysics as a whole has units and it is not suited for fundamental research it is only suited for philosophizing. And philosophy is what Doctors of Alphysics do.
A1: I see. You cannot study the fundamental with a tool which is not fundamental you can only write polemical philosophy with it.
Dr. G: Luckily Doctors of Alphysics have the hereditary authority to define what fundamental is. Therefore, each Doctor defines what he is doing at the moment as fundamental research which is about to reveal the most fundamental secrets of the universe.
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Newton's Wig
Admin1: An authority symbol always becomes fodder for jokes for the next generation.
Dr. Gravytee: The word Newton has been a synonym for genius and science since eternity.
A1: Why was he wearing a wig?
Dr. G: That was cool at the time.
A1: You are saying that if the brand is set up professionally and maintained well and updated carefully the symbols of authority will never become jokes.
Dr. G: Newton is backed up by the most sophisticated marketing department in the world.
A1: Newton's contemporaries from Holland used elaborate lace collars as authority symbols.
Dr. G: More likely as status symbols. But your status brought authority as well.
A1: Will this symbol of authority ever become fodder for jokes?
Dr. G: It looks remarkably like fine lace worn by the Dutch. Authority symbols work both ways. They also imprison its owner. When you have a Lagrangian around your neck that's more like a garrote than a decoration.
A1: According to the author of that link Lagrangian is on its way out.
Dr. G: There is a confusion there. Alphysics is divided in its use of lace. Doctor Carroll who dismisses Lagragian practices at CalTech where Lagrangian is fashionable. At University of Chicago only Hamiltonian is used. These formalisms come and go.
A1: To me a Lagrangian looks as old fashioned and funny as lace collar. I wonder why it is still around.
Dr. G: Today we have computer programs which do what Lagrangian was invented to do in the 18th century. The scholastic alphysics bureaucracy is an immense bureaucracy. Once the Lagrangian entered the books it could never be removed.
A1: So if alphysics Doctors were in charge of developing writing instruments for humanity we would still be writing with quill pens not typing on a keyboard.
Dr. G: You got the idea.
Dr. Gravytee: The word Newton has been a synonym for genius and science since eternity.
A1: Why was he wearing a wig?
Dr. G: That was cool at the time.
A1: You are saying that if the brand is set up professionally and maintained well and updated carefully the symbols of authority will never become jokes.
Dr. G: Newton is backed up by the most sophisticated marketing department in the world.
A1: Newton's contemporaries from Holland used elaborate lace collars as authority symbols.
Dr. G: More likely as status symbols. But your status brought authority as well.
A1: Will this symbol of authority ever become fodder for jokes?
Dr. G: It looks remarkably like fine lace worn by the Dutch. Authority symbols work both ways. They also imprison its owner. When you have a Lagrangian around your neck that's more like a garrote than a decoration.
A1: According to the author of that link Lagrangian is on its way out.
Dr. G: There is a confusion there. Alphysics is divided in its use of lace. Doctor Carroll who dismisses Lagragian practices at CalTech where Lagrangian is fashionable. At University of Chicago only Hamiltonian is used. These formalisms come and go.
A1: To me a Lagrangian looks as old fashioned and funny as lace collar. I wonder why it is still around.
Dr. G: Today we have computer programs which do what Lagrangian was invented to do in the 18th century. The scholastic alphysics bureaucracy is an immense bureaucracy. Once the Lagrangian entered the books it could never be removed.
A1: So if alphysics Doctors were in charge of developing writing instruments for humanity we would still be writing with quill pens not typing on a keyboard.
Dr. G: You got the idea.
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Scholasticism is Cool
Admin1: There is a new post in Freedom of Science describing how Doctors of Alphysics write their papers. Do you agree?
Doctor Gravytee: Yes. This is how modern Aphysics papers are written. I agree with most of it. I never read any papers written by another Doctor of Alphysics. There is no point. It is a total waste of time. I skim the title and the summary in the arxiv.org and I write my own stuff. Remember that you don't get academic points for reading papers. You get academic points for publishing papers.
A1: What about the shampoo analogy.
Dr. G: He may have gone overboard with the shampoo analogy but it is true in its essence. He is definitely right about the sleaze factor. When you read the blogs of Doctors of Strings employed by venerable institutions such as Columbia and Harvard Universities you would be shocked how sleazy can these people get. If there is science pornography they are it.
A1: Your blog is clean.
Dr. G: We are about Alphysics not about string theory. Alphysics is an old tradition. String theory is on its way out.
Doctor Gravytee: Yes. This is how modern Aphysics papers are written. I agree with most of it. I never read any papers written by another Doctor of Alphysics. There is no point. It is a total waste of time. I skim the title and the summary in the arxiv.org and I write my own stuff. Remember that you don't get academic points for reading papers. You get academic points for publishing papers.
A1: What about the shampoo analogy.
Dr. G: He may have gone overboard with the shampoo analogy but it is true in its essence. He is definitely right about the sleaze factor. When you read the blogs of Doctors of Strings employed by venerable institutions such as Columbia and Harvard Universities you would be shocked how sleazy can these people get. If there is science pornography they are it.
A1: Your blog is clean.
Dr. G: We are about Alphysics not about string theory. Alphysics is an old tradition. String theory is on its way out.
Friday, December 22, 2006
Science, Progress and Garages
Admin1: Yippee! Congratulations! You had your first comment!
Dr. Gravytee: Nothing to be excited about. I get thousands of comments every day. I just thought this one was the first one worth approving.
A1: I see. I agree with everything your anonymous commenter said.
Dr. G: I don't.
A1: Obviously science is not a unit that is measured.
Dr. G: We can measure progress if we define a unit for it. I defined the unit to measure progress as the building of a mechanical clock. The commenter gave that as an example of one of the greatest achievements of Europeans.
A1: What about thousands of years humans spent to discover the alphabet.
Dr. G: Alphabet is an agreed upon set of symbols. What humans needed to discover was that only when parties agree upon a standard that communication becomes possible. Today our real alphabet is the QWERTY keyboard which has many more symbols than the "classic" alphabet still taught in schools out of scholastic inertia.
A1: You are so impressed with the present century. Without the previous centuries we wouldn't be here.
Dr. G: I don't subscribe to the continuous progress view. The break from the European scholastic tradition when pilgrims migrated to the new continent made this century possible not a build up on European scholasticism.
A1: There are more scientists today than in previous centuries.
Dr. G: Regular folks/Doctors ratio has stayed the same throughout history. The amateur scientist/Doctors ratio is also a constant. Amateur scientist type mentioned by the commenter always makes the new discoveries. Edison comes to mind. These are the people who tinker in their garages and discover new stuff. Doctors park their cars in their garages.
Dr. Gravytee: Nothing to be excited about. I get thousands of comments every day. I just thought this one was the first one worth approving.
A1: I see. I agree with everything your anonymous commenter said.
Dr. G: I don't.
A1: Obviously science is not a unit that is measured.
Dr. G: We can measure progress if we define a unit for it. I defined the unit to measure progress as the building of a mechanical clock. The commenter gave that as an example of one of the greatest achievements of Europeans.
A1: What about thousands of years humans spent to discover the alphabet.
Dr. G: Alphabet is an agreed upon set of symbols. What humans needed to discover was that only when parties agree upon a standard that communication becomes possible. Today our real alphabet is the QWERTY keyboard which has many more symbols than the "classic" alphabet still taught in schools out of scholastic inertia.
A1: You are so impressed with the present century. Without the previous centuries we wouldn't be here.
Dr. G: I don't subscribe to the continuous progress view. The break from the European scholastic tradition when pilgrims migrated to the new continent made this century possible not a build up on European scholasticism.
A1: There are more scientists today than in previous centuries.
Dr. G: Regular folks/Doctors ratio has stayed the same throughout history. The amateur scientist/Doctors ratio is also a constant. Amateur scientist type mentioned by the commenter always makes the new discoveries. Edison comes to mind. These are the people who tinker in their garages and discover new stuff. Doctors park their cars in their garages.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Same Doctors Different Name
Admin1: All the raw materials needed to discover radio waves were in existence 2000 years ago.
Doctor Gravytee: True. Look at Hertz' experiment it is so simple and beautiful.
A1: Why didn't anybody else thought about it before?
Dr. G: The European society was based on a scholastic model where a professional priestly group controlled the human knowledge database.
A1: Just like the monopoly Doctors of Alphysics enjoy on human reason?
Dr. G: Same doctors different name. Doctors allowed only a handful of people to work in science. If instead of 10, there were 100,000 human beings working on science and technology fields then there would be more scientific discoveries done faster.
A1: But there were great scientific discoveries made in Europe, such as great mechanical clocks.
Dr. G: Today the progress humans make every year is more than the Scholastic Europeans could make in 2000 years. Therefore if you think human potential equals building a mechanical clock in 2000 years of civilization then you may consider that a great advance. But I don't believe that it is. Take the advance of mechanical clock in 2000 years as unit of human potential. I would say that human potential is more than that? How much more?
A1: Maybe million times more?
Dr. G: How about a billion times more. It is only European self-serving propaganda to market 1/1,000,000,000 progress to be epitome of scientific progress. There is no discernible European progress in 2000 years when you compare that progress to the rate of advancement of today.
A1: That's very little progress.
Dr. G: The estimate above is actually favorable to Europeans. In reality there was negative progress. Humans are still trying to recover from the intellectual scars inflicted by Doctors on humanity. Consider that European Doctors burned alive any poor soul who dared to show any feeble signs of scientific thinking.
Doctor Gravytee: True. Look at Hertz' experiment it is so simple and beautiful.
A1: Why didn't anybody else thought about it before?
Dr. G: The European society was based on a scholastic model where a professional priestly group controlled the human knowledge database.
A1: Just like the monopoly Doctors of Alphysics enjoy on human reason?
Dr. G: Same doctors different name. Doctors allowed only a handful of people to work in science. If instead of 10, there were 100,000 human beings working on science and technology fields then there would be more scientific discoveries done faster.
A1: But there were great scientific discoveries made in Europe, such as great mechanical clocks.
Dr. G: Today the progress humans make every year is more than the Scholastic Europeans could make in 2000 years. Therefore if you think human potential equals building a mechanical clock in 2000 years of civilization then you may consider that a great advance. But I don't believe that it is. Take the advance of mechanical clock in 2000 years as unit of human potential. I would say that human potential is more than that? How much more?
A1: Maybe million times more?
Dr. G: How about a billion times more. It is only European self-serving propaganda to market 1/1,000,000,000 progress to be epitome of scientific progress. There is no discernible European progress in 2000 years when you compare that progress to the rate of advancement of today.
A1: That's very little progress.
Dr. G: The estimate above is actually favorable to Europeans. In reality there was negative progress. Humans are still trying to recover from the intellectual scars inflicted by Doctors on humanity. Consider that European Doctors burned alive any poor soul who dared to show any feeble signs of scientific thinking.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
A Billion Derived Equations
Admin1: You don’t want to buy 13 crappy songs on a CD big publishers want to sell you so that you can have 1 song that you like. Same with alphysics. What crap you buy in alphysics in order to get 1 thing you want?
Dr. Gravytee: In alphysics you get about a billion derived equations which are useless variations on one fundamental idea: R3T2.
Dr. Gravytee: In alphysics you get about a billion derived equations which are useless variations on one fundamental idea: R3T2.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
The Hierarchy Problem
Admin1: What is the hierarchy problem in Alphysics?
Doctor Gravytee: Hierarchy problem occurs when the fundamental parameters of fame of practitioners in the String Theory Lagrangian field are vastly different (usually academically incompatible) than the parameters evaluated and assumed to exist experimentally by practitioners themselves.
A1: You mean there is an absolute hierarchy in the String Theory?
Dr. G: Hierarchy is absolute because each practitioner in String Theory overly overestimates his authority mass. But professional academic mythology prescribes an absolutely true measurement of authority proportional to number of papers published plus seniority plus rank.
A1: I know this is called renormalization.
Dr. G: Typically the renormalized parameters are closely related to the fundamental parameters self-estimated by practitioners, but in some cases, it appears that there has been a delicate cancellation between the fundamental quantity and the quantum corrections to it. Therefore, it is clear that hierarchy problem is related to fine-tuning problems and the problems of naturalness.
A1: An example please.
Dr. G: A famous Doctor of Alphysics, Doctor Weinberg is a Nobel laureate and measures his authority mass by heavily weighing in his Nobel prize, and therefore he places his absolute position in the hierarchy of Alphysics to be on top, at least nearly on top, maybe just below Einstein. Doctor Weinberg claims that it is an experimental fact that he is a top tier Alphysicist. Doctor Weinberg assumes academic renormalization and counts his Nobel as fine-tuning bonus.
A1: This is an experimental fact if there is any in Alphysics.
Dr. G: But Doctor of Philosophy Doctor Greene has vastly more fame than Doctor Weinberg and Doctor Greene's measurements of his authority shows exceptionally high elegantly fine tuning of fine-tuning terms and furthermore Doctor Greene adds some clever quantum corrections to his status connected to the vacuum oscillations created by his best-seller books in the Amazon spacetimes indicators and creates not only a hierarchy problem but a true hierarchy crisis.
A1: I see. Doctor Weinberg could not agree that his Nobel counts nothing against the elegant tunings of Doctor Greene just because Greene sold more books.
Dr. G: Greene on the other hand claims that Weinberg's Nobel renormalized well when it was new but now it is old news and it has re-depracated beyond re-renormalization. This is the hierarchy problem. It is fascinating science. This is the cutting edge of Alphysics.
Doctor Gravytee: Hierarchy problem occurs when the fundamental parameters of fame of practitioners in the String Theory Lagrangian field are vastly different (usually academically incompatible) than the parameters evaluated and assumed to exist experimentally by practitioners themselves.
A1: You mean there is an absolute hierarchy in the String Theory?
Dr. G: Hierarchy is absolute because each practitioner in String Theory overly overestimates his authority mass. But professional academic mythology prescribes an absolutely true measurement of authority proportional to number of papers published plus seniority plus rank.
A1: I know this is called renormalization.
Dr. G: Typically the renormalized parameters are closely related to the fundamental parameters self-estimated by practitioners, but in some cases, it appears that there has been a delicate cancellation between the fundamental quantity and the quantum corrections to it. Therefore, it is clear that hierarchy problem is related to fine-tuning problems and the problems of naturalness.
A1: An example please.
Dr. G: A famous Doctor of Alphysics, Doctor Weinberg is a Nobel laureate and measures his authority mass by heavily weighing in his Nobel prize, and therefore he places his absolute position in the hierarchy of Alphysics to be on top, at least nearly on top, maybe just below Einstein. Doctor Weinberg claims that it is an experimental fact that he is a top tier Alphysicist. Doctor Weinberg assumes academic renormalization and counts his Nobel as fine-tuning bonus.
A1: This is an experimental fact if there is any in Alphysics.
Dr. G: But Doctor of Philosophy Doctor Greene has vastly more fame than Doctor Weinberg and Doctor Greene's measurements of his authority shows exceptionally high elegantly fine tuning of fine-tuning terms and furthermore Doctor Greene adds some clever quantum corrections to his status connected to the vacuum oscillations created by his best-seller books in the Amazon spacetimes indicators and creates not only a hierarchy problem but a true hierarchy crisis.
A1: I see. Doctor Weinberg could not agree that his Nobel counts nothing against the elegant tunings of Doctor Greene just because Greene sold more books.
Dr. G: Greene on the other hand claims that Weinberg's Nobel renormalized well when it was new but now it is old news and it has re-depracated beyond re-renormalization. This is the hierarchy problem. It is fascinating science. This is the cutting edge of Alphysics.
Monday, December 18, 2006
Freedom of Science
Admin1: Freedom of Science is the most fundamental human right.
Doctor Gravytee: May be so but humans are not aware of this yet. Since the beginning of history scientific authority always resided with rulers, tyrants, and deities.
A1: A ruler is a human.
Dr. G: Originally all rulers made sure to deify themselves. They were not humans. This is the origin of marketing which is the oldest science.
A1: Doctors of Alphysics are the modern tyrants who obstruct the free flow of information therefore deny humans freedom of Science.
Dr. G: The true authority resides with Newton. Doctors of Alphysics come and go Newton is absolute and immortal.
A1: Newton's Soul is the substance which permeates the entire universe. No wonder he is immortal. Is there a way to free humanity from this religious tyrant?
Dr. G: Yes. Humans must unite and then the rest will come.
A1: That would be the end of Alphysics.
Dr. G: Not at all. We'll change the name of Alphysics to the new science whatever that is. We'll then donate to humanity the day the Big School changed its name as a global holiday and humans will be happy.
Doctor Gravytee: May be so but humans are not aware of this yet. Since the beginning of history scientific authority always resided with rulers, tyrants, and deities.
A1: A ruler is a human.
Dr. G: Originally all rulers made sure to deify themselves. They were not humans. This is the origin of marketing which is the oldest science.
A1: Doctors of Alphysics are the modern tyrants who obstruct the free flow of information therefore deny humans freedom of Science.
Dr. G: The true authority resides with Newton. Doctors of Alphysics come and go Newton is absolute and immortal.
A1: Newton's Soul is the substance which permeates the entire universe. No wonder he is immortal. Is there a way to free humanity from this religious tyrant?
Dr. G: Yes. Humans must unite and then the rest will come.
A1: That would be the end of Alphysics.
Dr. G: Not at all. We'll change the name of Alphysics to the new science whatever that is. We'll then donate to humanity the day the Big School changed its name as a global holiday and humans will be happy.
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Thus Spoke the String Theory
Admin1: It seems that for the most famous Doctor of Philosophy Doctor Greene the words Universe and Cosmos are synonyms. The famous Doctor of Alphysics states that “during the last few years there has been tremendous progress in the search for the deepest laws governing the universe." Then he adds that “the next decade will be a formative time and holds the promise of fundamental breakthroughs in our understanding of the cosmos."
Doctor Gravytee: This is true in general for every Doctor of Alphysics who has achieved a certain degree of fame. Once you reach that level of fame you can define any two words to be synonyms at your will.
A1: Is there a difference anyway?
Dr. G: Cosmos is an old word. Cosmos is a defined universe.
A1: What does this mean?
Dr. G: Remember the scholastic hoax?
A1: Doctors of Alphysics make a definition and enforce it as the absolute true standard.
Dr. G: Yes. Branding has been the basic method of Scholastic Doctors since the beginning of history.
A1: The most famous Doctor Greene therefore defined a stringy cosmos and has been marketing it as the absolute true universe.
Dr. G: The slick marketing campaign conducted by global publishing houses sponsoring Doctor Greene makes it impossible for people to perceive the cosmogonic declarations of Doctor Greene as comical religious speculations. What is remarkable about the most famous Doctor Greene's statement is that it is boilerplate polemical sophistry used by politicians every day. Just change some words: "During the last few years there has been tremendous progress in our fight against poverty... The next decade will be a formative time and holds the promise of fundamental breakthroughs in our work to eradicate poverty as we know it." The most famous Doctor Greene has mastered the media relations quite well.
A1: Are you saying that Doctor Greene is a synonym for Shaman.
Dr. G: I used to think so. But now I am not so sure. A shaman is supposed to be an authoritative charlatan who entertains his constituency while supplying some useful physic.
A1: What is physic?
Dr. G: Physic is popularized alphysics. Think about snake oil.
A1: Ok. So, Doctor Greene is not even a shaman.
Dr. G: Doctor Greene has crossed over into entertainment and has gone physic. He is an entertainer in 10 dimensions and a shaman only in 1 dimension.
A1: And that dimension where he is a shaman is curled up in a matterless universe?
Dr. G: Thus spoke the String Theory therefore it must be true.
Doctor Gravytee: This is true in general for every Doctor of Alphysics who has achieved a certain degree of fame. Once you reach that level of fame you can define any two words to be synonyms at your will.
A1: Is there a difference anyway?
Dr. G: Cosmos is an old word. Cosmos is a defined universe.
A1: What does this mean?
Dr. G: Remember the scholastic hoax?
A1: Doctors of Alphysics make a definition and enforce it as the absolute true standard.
Dr. G: Yes. Branding has been the basic method of Scholastic Doctors since the beginning of history.
A1: The most famous Doctor Greene therefore defined a stringy cosmos and has been marketing it as the absolute true universe.
Dr. G: The slick marketing campaign conducted by global publishing houses sponsoring Doctor Greene makes it impossible for people to perceive the cosmogonic declarations of Doctor Greene as comical religious speculations. What is remarkable about the most famous Doctor Greene's statement is that it is boilerplate polemical sophistry used by politicians every day. Just change some words: "During the last few years there has been tremendous progress in our fight against poverty... The next decade will be a formative time and holds the promise of fundamental breakthroughs in our work to eradicate poverty as we know it." The most famous Doctor Greene has mastered the media relations quite well.
A1: Are you saying that Doctor Greene is a synonym for Shaman.
Dr. G: I used to think so. But now I am not so sure. A shaman is supposed to be an authoritative charlatan who entertains his constituency while supplying some useful physic.
A1: What is physic?
Dr. G: Physic is popularized alphysics. Think about snake oil.
A1: Ok. So, Doctor Greene is not even a shaman.
Dr. G: Doctor Greene has crossed over into entertainment and has gone physic. He is an entertainer in 10 dimensions and a shaman only in 1 dimension.
A1: And that dimension where he is a shaman is curled up in a matterless universe?
Dr. G: Thus spoke the String Theory therefore it must be true.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Is String Theory a Sham or a Hoax?
Admin1: You have called the most elegant theory ever devised by Scholastic Alphysics Doctors to be a Scholastic Sham. Aren't you being a little too elegant yourself by calling such a hoax to be only a sham?
Dr. Gravytee: You are right I am an elegant Alphysics Doctors but you are wrong that I called String Theory merely a Sham. String Theory is a sham which is a Scholastic hoax.
A1: I see. By calling the String Theory a hoax you are emphasizing that Doctors of Alphysics intend to deceive.
Dr. G: Doctors of Alphysics are delusional fanatics of Newtonian religion.
A1: What does the String Theory have to do with Newtonism.
Dr. G: String theory is the latest version of Newtonist religion. If you look up why Doctors of Alphysics created the String Theory you would see what I mean.
Dr. Gravytee: You are right I am an elegant Alphysics Doctors but you are wrong that I called String Theory merely a Sham. String Theory is a sham which is a Scholastic hoax.
A1: I see. By calling the String Theory a hoax you are emphasizing that Doctors of Alphysics intend to deceive.
Dr. G: Doctors of Alphysics are delusional fanatics of Newtonian religion.
A1: What does the String Theory have to do with Newtonism.
Dr. G: String theory is the latest version of Newtonist religion. If you look up why Doctors of Alphysics created the String Theory you would see what I mean.
Friday, December 15, 2006
The Invisibility of the Org
Admin1: It is fascinating to realize that we only notice some things only when they start to crumble.
Doctor Gravytee: Traditionally humans experience difficulty to perceive organisms which are too small to perceive with unaided eye and also things which are too big to perceive.
A1: Like bureaucracies?
Dr. G: Yes. Bureaucracies are organisms as real as computer programs or viruses. But humans cannot perceive them.
A1: But we know that there exists something called "the media."
Dr. G: Media is a giant organism. The media exists because they have a protected monopoly on the database of knowledge. This database may be called "news." Giant media own the database and sell it to their customers. They control the channel of distribution as well as the database itself. Gathering of information, creation of database, and the distribution are all controlled by the giant media.
A1: Today citizens have access to the database. We can blog, we can take our news photos...
Dr. G: True. People perceive some kind of change but we have been under the influence of the media so long that we still believe in the standards of the media.
A1: Such as?
Dr. G: The media is a professional industry. Any professional industry is based on authority. In order to add value to their product the media invented a concept of impartial reporting of the news. They pretended to despise conflict of interest. They claimed editorial departments and advertising departments did not know about each other.
A1: Isn't this a good thing?
Dr. G: Not at all. This idiotic notion of impartiality makes sense when the media controls the flow of information. When the information is available for anyone to review the customer no longer cares about the separation of editorial and the advertisements.
A1: Why?
Dr. G: Today, top bloggers still make sure that they disclose for instance that they do not own any shares of a startup they are writing about. Why do I care if they own shares or even if they are paid by the company they are writing about. They are not the only source of information. I could read at least a dozen reviews of a new product in half an hour. If a reviewer is biased and skewed by his association with the company he is reviewing he would lose credibility.
A1: You are saying that the burden lies with the customer not with the professional.
Dr. G: Of course. The professional is free to hype, to exagerate, to lie and to be an evangelist of the product he is trying to sell. It is the customer's duty to decide to believe or not to believe. It is the old way to treat the customer as a baby and as a retarded idiot who cannot tell the hype from an impartial review.
A1: When the media controlled the source of information they sanctified the concept of impartiality in order to gain authority. When they had authority then their customers believed their stories and reviews. Customers had no way of checking the information they had to take the authority of the media because the media claimed fair reporting.
Dr. G: Today we don't need this authority thing anymore. When information is freely available to anybody, the professional better be credible or the customer will simply check the data for himself.
A1: How do all this relate to Alphysics?
Dr. G: Alphysics is a similar kind of con game. The media corresponds to the scholastic hierarchy. The database is alphysics code. The professionals are the alphysic doctors. The customers are the buyers of books and believers who buy into the cosmogonic scenarios of Doctors of Philosophy.
A1: Once we perceive that scholasticism is a real profession, the oldest bureaucracy in existence, and a corporate entity as real as GM or IBM then we see that scholasticism is no different than these companies.
Dr. G: There is no difference. The fact that scholastic corporation does not have a corporate identity in the form of a logo does not make it a non-corporation. For profit corporations at least create value since they produce and sell a product people can use. Doctors of Philosophy who work for the giant scholastic corporation produce nothing useful.
Doctor Gravytee: Traditionally humans experience difficulty to perceive organisms which are too small to perceive with unaided eye and also things which are too big to perceive.
A1: Like bureaucracies?
Dr. G: Yes. Bureaucracies are organisms as real as computer programs or viruses. But humans cannot perceive them.
A1: But we know that there exists something called "the media."
Dr. G: Media is a giant organism. The media exists because they have a protected monopoly on the database of knowledge. This database may be called "news." Giant media own the database and sell it to their customers. They control the channel of distribution as well as the database itself. Gathering of information, creation of database, and the distribution are all controlled by the giant media.
A1: Today citizens have access to the database. We can blog, we can take our news photos...
Dr. G: True. People perceive some kind of change but we have been under the influence of the media so long that we still believe in the standards of the media.
A1: Such as?
Dr. G: The media is a professional industry. Any professional industry is based on authority. In order to add value to their product the media invented a concept of impartial reporting of the news. They pretended to despise conflict of interest. They claimed editorial departments and advertising departments did not know about each other.
A1: Isn't this a good thing?
Dr. G: Not at all. This idiotic notion of impartiality makes sense when the media controls the flow of information. When the information is available for anyone to review the customer no longer cares about the separation of editorial and the advertisements.
A1: Why?
Dr. G: Today, top bloggers still make sure that they disclose for instance that they do not own any shares of a startup they are writing about. Why do I care if they own shares or even if they are paid by the company they are writing about. They are not the only source of information. I could read at least a dozen reviews of a new product in half an hour. If a reviewer is biased and skewed by his association with the company he is reviewing he would lose credibility.
A1: You are saying that the burden lies with the customer not with the professional.
Dr. G: Of course. The professional is free to hype, to exagerate, to lie and to be an evangelist of the product he is trying to sell. It is the customer's duty to decide to believe or not to believe. It is the old way to treat the customer as a baby and as a retarded idiot who cannot tell the hype from an impartial review.
A1: When the media controlled the source of information they sanctified the concept of impartiality in order to gain authority. When they had authority then their customers believed their stories and reviews. Customers had no way of checking the information they had to take the authority of the media because the media claimed fair reporting.
Dr. G: Today we don't need this authority thing anymore. When information is freely available to anybody, the professional better be credible or the customer will simply check the data for himself.
A1: How do all this relate to Alphysics?
Dr. G: Alphysics is a similar kind of con game. The media corresponds to the scholastic hierarchy. The database is alphysics code. The professionals are the alphysic doctors. The customers are the buyers of books and believers who buy into the cosmogonic scenarios of Doctors of Philosophy.
A1: Once we perceive that scholasticism is a real profession, the oldest bureaucracy in existence, and a corporate entity as real as GM or IBM then we see that scholasticism is no different than these companies.
Dr. G: There is no difference. The fact that scholastic corporation does not have a corporate identity in the form of a logo does not make it a non-corporation. For profit corporations at least create value since they produce and sell a product people can use. Doctors of Philosophy who work for the giant scholastic corporation produce nothing useful.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Does String Theory cause lead poisining
Admin1: Union of Concerned Scientists issued a list of examples of political interference in science. Alphysics and its sub-science the String Theory is not listed. This may mean that government does not interfere with Alphysics or Alphysics is not science.
Dr. Gravytee: It may also be that Alphysics is not kind of science worth interfering with. These concerned scientists are concerned about public issues. Alphysics is an elegant theory with absolutely no practical or god forbids proletarian effects. Doctors of Alphysics are arrogantly elegant elitists. This is what sells books. In cosmic and cosmogonic matters public wants authority. We project authority by being arrogantly elegant and elitists. These concerned scientists are concerned about things like lead poisining. None of the spacetimes or backgrounds real or virtual that we use in String Theory cause lead poisoning or that we care to calculated such things.
A1: True. There is no Union of Concerned scientists who are concerned about intellectual string poisoning so you don't have to worry.
Dr. G: String theory is poison only for people who are elegantly impaired. We have nothing to do with them.
Dr. Gravytee: It may also be that Alphysics is not kind of science worth interfering with. These concerned scientists are concerned about public issues. Alphysics is an elegant theory with absolutely no practical or god forbids proletarian effects. Doctors of Alphysics are arrogantly elegant elitists. This is what sells books. In cosmic and cosmogonic matters public wants authority. We project authority by being arrogantly elegant and elitists. These concerned scientists are concerned about things like lead poisining. None of the spacetimes or backgrounds real or virtual that we use in String Theory cause lead poisoning or that we care to calculated such things.
A1: True. There is no Union of Concerned scientists who are concerned about intellectual string poisoning so you don't have to worry.
Dr. G: String theory is poison only for people who are elegantly impaired. We have nothing to do with them.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Scholastic Rip Off
Admin1: Rip Van Winkle awakens in the 21st century after a hundred-year snooze and he is bewildered by what he sees. Women dash about half naked and go aworking for big corporations which did not even exist then. Women and men talk to small metal devices pinned to their ears or they have white strings dangling from their ears. Young people instead of working sit at home on sofas, moving miniature athletes around on electronic screens. Airports, hospitals, shopping malls--every place Rip goes just baffles him. But when he finally walks into a schoolroom, the old man knows exactly where he is. "This is a school," he declares. "We used to have these back in 1906. Only now the blackboards are green."
Doctor Gravytee: Poor old Rip is ignorant of Alphysics. The rate of change of giant bureaucracies is asymptotically close to zero. Scholasticism is one of the oldest and biggest bureaucracies in existence.
A1: I see. Scholasticism transcends national boundaries, it is a protected monopoly, it has no incentive to change. Therefore it does not change. As long it can grow it never changes.
Dr. G: It changes so slowly that it is not even perceptible.
A1: What happens if instead of Rip, Newton woke up from his slumber and came visit us?
Dr. G: Newton would be delighted to see that the religion he established, the Newtonism based on the faith he called Newton's Soul, is stronger than ever. At Newton's death no schools in the new continent taught Newtonism. In the new continent Benjamin Franklin was considered a true scientist not Newton. Newton will be glad to see that the old British colony is now teaching its students the British Newtonist religion as the state religion.
A1: But Newtonism is science not religion.
Dr. G: This is the point. Since Newtonism is taught to you as science when you learned your alphabet you cannot tell that Newtonism is religion. Newton will be so happy to see that his religion is still taught as science.
A1: What happens if Benjamin Franklin came to visit our century?
Dr. G: Benjamin Franklin would be shocked to see that a British religion is being taught to the students of the nation he saved from the British colonization.
A1: Franklin denied the authority of the King of Britain and the authority of the self-declared British King of Mechanics. Now he sees that British colonialists infiltrated the nation at its core. That must be devastating to Benjamin Franklin.
Dr. G: Exactly. Newton wanted to meet the great Benjamin Franklin as if to make him a favor but Franklin could never find the time. Why? Franklin was a free born. He was a citizen not a subject. He could think for himself. He had no need for the authority of the British King or the authority of the British science deity.
A1: This is so true. The reason Benjamin Franklin was able to discover the true laws of electricity was because he denied the authority of the British Newton.
Dr. G: Obviously. But Newton will be happy to see that in alphysics textbook used today in US schools Benjamin Franklin is not mentioned but Newton is mentioned as the god of science taking credit even for the discovery of science of electricity discovered by Franklin.
A1: This cannot be just to Franklin. By teaching the British Newtonist religion to our children we are betraying our heritage. We are betraying the legacy of founding fathers! We are actually teaching our children a 17th century British occult religion instead of science of Benjamin Franklin! Just thinking about this gives me shudders.
Dr. G: That's why Newton is the greatest marketing genius of all times. Newton will see that he was right in every marketing move he made. But Newton is also worried.
A1: Why?
Dr. G: Newton is worried about the Internet. He doesn't like what he sees. Newton is for absolute authority for his disciples who call themselves today physicists. Once citizens have free access to knowledge the authority of the Newtonian Doctors of Philosophy is diluted. The authority of the Newtonian Doctors of Philosophy who call themselves today physicists and cosmologists are based on the fraud that they propagate namely that they know something citizens do not know. Today citizens can easily verify that Doctors of Philosophy are charlatans. They are the latest version of the old shamans except that today they are licensed to practice shamanism when they obtain their license to practice shamanism, the PhD.
A1: Newton's worry is not justified. Internet is already doctored by the Newtonian doctors.
Dr. G: Well. Funny isn't it. Citizens can never win against the Doctors. Citizens are free and independent so they act freely and independently. Doctors act as a group of Newtonist zealots and they are stronger.
A1: We the people already missed one opportunity to get rid of the Doctors when the printing press was invented. Today the Internet is almost lost to Doctors.
Dr. G: Newton will win again.
Doctor Gravytee: Poor old Rip is ignorant of Alphysics. The rate of change of giant bureaucracies is asymptotically close to zero. Scholasticism is one of the oldest and biggest bureaucracies in existence.
A1: I see. Scholasticism transcends national boundaries, it is a protected monopoly, it has no incentive to change. Therefore it does not change. As long it can grow it never changes.
Dr. G: It changes so slowly that it is not even perceptible.
A1: What happens if instead of Rip, Newton woke up from his slumber and came visit us?
Dr. G: Newton would be delighted to see that the religion he established, the Newtonism based on the faith he called Newton's Soul, is stronger than ever. At Newton's death no schools in the new continent taught Newtonism. In the new continent Benjamin Franklin was considered a true scientist not Newton. Newton will be glad to see that the old British colony is now teaching its students the British Newtonist religion as the state religion.
A1: But Newtonism is science not religion.
Dr. G: This is the point. Since Newtonism is taught to you as science when you learned your alphabet you cannot tell that Newtonism is religion. Newton will be so happy to see that his religion is still taught as science.
A1: What happens if Benjamin Franklin came to visit our century?
Dr. G: Benjamin Franklin would be shocked to see that a British religion is being taught to the students of the nation he saved from the British colonization.
A1: Franklin denied the authority of the King of Britain and the authority of the self-declared British King of Mechanics. Now he sees that British colonialists infiltrated the nation at its core. That must be devastating to Benjamin Franklin.
Dr. G: Exactly. Newton wanted to meet the great Benjamin Franklin as if to make him a favor but Franklin could never find the time. Why? Franklin was a free born. He was a citizen not a subject. He could think for himself. He had no need for the authority of the British King or the authority of the British science deity.
A1: This is so true. The reason Benjamin Franklin was able to discover the true laws of electricity was because he denied the authority of the British Newton.
Dr. G: Obviously. But Newton will be happy to see that in alphysics textbook used today in US schools Benjamin Franklin is not mentioned but Newton is mentioned as the god of science taking credit even for the discovery of science of electricity discovered by Franklin.
A1: This cannot be just to Franklin. By teaching the British Newtonist religion to our children we are betraying our heritage. We are betraying the legacy of founding fathers! We are actually teaching our children a 17th century British occult religion instead of science of Benjamin Franklin! Just thinking about this gives me shudders.
Dr. G: That's why Newton is the greatest marketing genius of all times. Newton will see that he was right in every marketing move he made. But Newton is also worried.
A1: Why?
Dr. G: Newton is worried about the Internet. He doesn't like what he sees. Newton is for absolute authority for his disciples who call themselves today physicists. Once citizens have free access to knowledge the authority of the Newtonian Doctors of Philosophy is diluted. The authority of the Newtonian Doctors of Philosophy who call themselves today physicists and cosmologists are based on the fraud that they propagate namely that they know something citizens do not know. Today citizens can easily verify that Doctors of Philosophy are charlatans. They are the latest version of the old shamans except that today they are licensed to practice shamanism when they obtain their license to practice shamanism, the PhD.
A1: Newton's worry is not justified. Internet is already doctored by the Newtonian doctors.
Dr. G: Well. Funny isn't it. Citizens can never win against the Doctors. Citizens are free and independent so they act freely and independently. Doctors act as a group of Newtonist zealots and they are stronger.
A1: We the people already missed one opportunity to get rid of the Doctors when the printing press was invented. Today the Internet is almost lost to Doctors.
Dr. G: Newton will win again.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Who is Afraid of Crackpots
Admin1: Why are Doctors of Alphysics so worried about what they label as crackpots?
Doctor Graytee: Doctors of Alphysics have absolute monopoly on crackpottery. Doctors have no intention of sharing their monopoly in this lucrative field.
A1: But what Doctors labeled crackpot just two years ago now it is mainstream alphysics.
Dr. G: True. This is the internet era. Doctors have been very fast in doctoring the internet. In the last century it took about a decade for science fiction scenarios to appear in peer reviewed alphysics journals as true alphysics. Now most Doctors own blogs and they adapt to the cutting edge of cracpottery faster than ever.
Doctor Graytee: Doctors of Alphysics have absolute monopoly on crackpottery. Doctors have no intention of sharing their monopoly in this lucrative field.
A1: But what Doctors labeled crackpot just two years ago now it is mainstream alphysics.
Dr. G: True. This is the internet era. Doctors have been very fast in doctoring the internet. In the last century it took about a decade for science fiction scenarios to appear in peer reviewed alphysics journals as true alphysics. Now most Doctors own blogs and they adapt to the cutting edge of cracpottery faster than ever.
Monday, December 11, 2006
Experimental by Association
Admin1: Some blogger writes: "We do not need Popper's theories to classify alphysics to be outside science. This is more a legal issue because what alphysicists and cosmologists are doing is fraud."
Doctor Gravytee: There cannot be fraud in an industry which is not regulated. Alphysics is not regulated. Doctors of Alphysics are the jury and the judge.
A1: Doctors define what fraud is.
Dr. G: Sure. We are not going to define fraud as what we do.
A1: In the legal world guilt by association is illegal. In Alphysics experimental by association is legal.
Dr. G: String Theory is an experimental science by association. Cosmology is experimental by association. This is a well established principle in Alphysics.
A1: How does experimental by association work?
Dr. G: Very complicated. You need to know how M-Theory works and what M stands for. But in layman's term, take a database of white noise of some radiation or other, preferably collected by NASA, define it as a cosmic radiation and draw a beautifully colorful computer graphics. Art directors of the New York Times love colorful graphics which fill up a lot of white space between ads and they will publish your computer graphics as the latest experimental verification of the Big Bang. Voila! You have proved the most famous cosmogonic mythology by experimental association.
A1: Alphysics at its best.
Dr. G: Alphysics is an experimental science by association.
Doctor Gravytee: There cannot be fraud in an industry which is not regulated. Alphysics is not regulated. Doctors of Alphysics are the jury and the judge.
A1: Doctors define what fraud is.
Dr. G: Sure. We are not going to define fraud as what we do.
A1: In the legal world guilt by association is illegal. In Alphysics experimental by association is legal.
Dr. G: String Theory is an experimental science by association. Cosmology is experimental by association. This is a well established principle in Alphysics.
A1: How does experimental by association work?
Dr. G: Very complicated. You need to know how M-Theory works and what M stands for. But in layman's term, take a database of white noise of some radiation or other, preferably collected by NASA, define it as a cosmic radiation and draw a beautifully colorful computer graphics. Art directors of the New York Times love colorful graphics which fill up a lot of white space between ads and they will publish your computer graphics as the latest experimental verification of the Big Bang. Voila! You have proved the most famous cosmogonic mythology by experimental association.
A1: Alphysics at its best.
Dr. G: Alphysics is an experimental science by association.
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Hereditary Scientific Authority
Admin1: Doctors of Alphysics got the concept of measurement and its relation to science all wrong.
Doctor Gravytee: Doctors measure in impeccable precision what each other know. In this case knowledge refers to the legal code of alphysics usually abbreviated to alphysics. Doctors of Alphysics couldn't care less about the measurement of phenomena.
A1: Really?
Dr. G: Doctors enjoy hereditary scientific authority. This authority gives them unquestioned authority to define what science is. Therefore, they define whatever it is that they think would advance their career the fastest by selling the most books to be science.
A1: Doctors of Alphysics have the hereditary scientific authority to define and what is measured does not matter. They can define the measurement whatever they want it to be.
Dr. G: Exactly. If you have the heridetary authority to define what is measured why measure it in the first place? Why bother to make measurements? The scientific protocol requires that there exists some kind of measurement to save Newton's sacred authority. Newton defined Alphysics to be an experimental science, so we must not change the appearance of practicing an experimental science.
A1: I see. If the measurements of phenomena do not fit their career goals Doctors redefine the measurement to make nature agree with their career goals. This is an old trick of scholasticism. But why Doctors measure so precisely and obsessively each other's knowledge?
Dr. G: The measurement of what your colleagues know is necessary in order to move up in the shcolastic bureaucracy. All through their careers Doctors of Alphysics must pass standardized tests in order to move up on to the next level. As a Doctor moves up the scholastic ladder he earns more authority points. You can tell that a Doctor has arrived, more or less, when he starts to complain loudly about how many Doctoral students he has to supervise and how many requests for reviews he gets. This is all part of accummulating authority points.
A1: But observations show that some Doctors of Alphysics simply rocket through to the top of the hierarchy instead of climbing patiently the scholastic ladder according to the millennia old rules. How come?
Dr. G: The reason for this is usually explained by this formula:
A :: (R + S) * F^2
Clearly a Doctor who has very little rank and seniority but has fame would have the most authority. Rank and seniority being equal, perceived fame gains a Doctor the most authority.
A1: I see. This is why a Doctor, any Doctor, wouldn't hesitate a moment to sell his scientific soul in order to get a quote into the New York Times Science section.
Dr. G: It is a crooked game, yes. It's been dog eat dog in the scholastic business for a long time. Either you have authority or you don't . If you don't have authority you cannot get grants, cannot do research you want, cannot be published in top journals and New York Times won't be calling. Therefore, it is absolutely positively crucial to measure how much authority each Doctor has so that the pecking order is established correctly.
A1: It seems to me that Doctors' crooked ways do not stop with sanctifying the measurement of Doctoral authority and despising real data.
Dr. G: You are mistaking in that. Doctors never say they despise data. Data is sanctified so that the measurement of scholastic authority can be defined as science. You get it?
A1: Doctors defined the measurement of each others' authority to be science?
Dr. G: Just look how much time a Doctor of Alphysics spends on doing measurements of authority.
A1: Are you saying that Doctors of Alphysics turned scholastic arrogance and zealotry into an artform?
Dr. G: Doctors of Alphysics have been blocking the development of human knowledge since the beginning of history. This is our job. This is why we get paid for. It is nothing new. Get used to it.
Doctor Gravytee: Doctors measure in impeccable precision what each other know. In this case knowledge refers to the legal code of alphysics usually abbreviated to alphysics. Doctors of Alphysics couldn't care less about the measurement of phenomena.
A1: Really?
Dr. G: Doctors enjoy hereditary scientific authority. This authority gives them unquestioned authority to define what science is. Therefore, they define whatever it is that they think would advance their career the fastest by selling the most books to be science.
A1: Doctors of Alphysics have the hereditary scientific authority to define and what is measured does not matter. They can define the measurement whatever they want it to be.
Dr. G: Exactly. If you have the heridetary authority to define what is measured why measure it in the first place? Why bother to make measurements? The scientific protocol requires that there exists some kind of measurement to save Newton's sacred authority. Newton defined Alphysics to be an experimental science, so we must not change the appearance of practicing an experimental science.
A1: I see. If the measurements of phenomena do not fit their career goals Doctors redefine the measurement to make nature agree with their career goals. This is an old trick of scholasticism. But why Doctors measure so precisely and obsessively each other's knowledge?
Dr. G: The measurement of what your colleagues know is necessary in order to move up in the shcolastic bureaucracy. All through their careers Doctors of Alphysics must pass standardized tests in order to move up on to the next level. As a Doctor moves up the scholastic ladder he earns more authority points. You can tell that a Doctor has arrived, more or less, when he starts to complain loudly about how many Doctoral students he has to supervise and how many requests for reviews he gets. This is all part of accummulating authority points.
A1: But observations show that some Doctors of Alphysics simply rocket through to the top of the hierarchy instead of climbing patiently the scholastic ladder according to the millennia old rules. How come?
Dr. G: The reason for this is usually explained by this formula:
A :: (R + S) * F^2
Clearly a Doctor who has very little rank and seniority but has fame would have the most authority. Rank and seniority being equal, perceived fame gains a Doctor the most authority.
A1: I see. This is why a Doctor, any Doctor, wouldn't hesitate a moment to sell his scientific soul in order to get a quote into the New York Times Science section.
Dr. G: It is a crooked game, yes. It's been dog eat dog in the scholastic business for a long time. Either you have authority or you don't . If you don't have authority you cannot get grants, cannot do research you want, cannot be published in top journals and New York Times won't be calling. Therefore, it is absolutely positively crucial to measure how much authority each Doctor has so that the pecking order is established correctly.
A1: It seems to me that Doctors' crooked ways do not stop with sanctifying the measurement of Doctoral authority and despising real data.
Dr. G: You are mistaking in that. Doctors never say they despise data. Data is sanctified so that the measurement of scholastic authority can be defined as science. You get it?
A1: Doctors defined the measurement of each others' authority to be science?
Dr. G: Just look how much time a Doctor of Alphysics spends on doing measurements of authority.
A1: Are you saying that Doctors of Alphysics turned scholastic arrogance and zealotry into an artform?
Dr. G: Doctors of Alphysics have been blocking the development of human knowledge since the beginning of history. This is our job. This is why we get paid for. It is nothing new. Get used to it.
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Cosmic Guacamole
Admin1: A woman in California filed suit against Kraft Foods, Inc., claiming that the company commits fraud by calling a dip product guacamole.
Doctor Gravytee: I hope that the news does not get around. As long as the media presents it as yet another curiousity from California we should be OK.
A1: Alphysics connection is obvious isn't it? The woman is very logical. She says that the main ingredient in guacamole is avacoda. Kraft Foods sells a product as guacamole which does not contain avocado. Therefore, this logical woman reasons that what Kraft Foods sells as guacamole is not guacamole.
Dr. G: This poor woman obviously has no awareness of how science works.
A1: You mean how alphysics works.
Dr. G: Alphysics is science.
A1: The giant unhuman corporation which ironically calls itself Kraft "Foods" was concerned enough to change the labeling in their guacamole which is not guacomole.
Dr. G: To what?
A1: They'll change the label to read "avocado-flavored guacamole."
Dr. G: That's a dangerous compromise! What's next? Someone will sue Alphysics Doctors because there is no science ingredient in our cosmogonical scenarios and string theory enchilada? What nonsense!
A1: No problem. You will just change your label: "String Theory: Best Science-flavored scenario ever. Dip your curiosity in our rich science flavor made with plenty of artificial cosmogonic colorings and number mysticism, scholastic sophistry and metaphysical polemics."
Dr. G: String Theory is now at revolution number XXX and it has 10 per cent more improved science flavor in it.
A1: Are you going to add some experimental flavor in the next revolution?
Dr. G: You bet.
Doctor Gravytee: I hope that the news does not get around. As long as the media presents it as yet another curiousity from California we should be OK.
A1: Alphysics connection is obvious isn't it? The woman is very logical. She says that the main ingredient in guacamole is avacoda. Kraft Foods sells a product as guacamole which does not contain avocado. Therefore, this logical woman reasons that what Kraft Foods sells as guacamole is not guacamole.
Dr. G: This poor woman obviously has no awareness of how science works.
A1: You mean how alphysics works.
Dr. G: Alphysics is science.
A1: The giant unhuman corporation which ironically calls itself Kraft "Foods" was concerned enough to change the labeling in their guacamole which is not guacomole.
Dr. G: To what?
A1: They'll change the label to read "avocado-flavored guacamole."
Dr. G: That's a dangerous compromise! What's next? Someone will sue Alphysics Doctors because there is no science ingredient in our cosmogonical scenarios and string theory enchilada? What nonsense!
A1: No problem. You will just change your label: "String Theory: Best Science-flavored scenario ever. Dip your curiosity in our rich science flavor made with plenty of artificial cosmogonic colorings and number mysticism, scholastic sophistry and metaphysical polemics."
Dr. G: String Theory is now at revolution number XXX and it has 10 per cent more improved science flavor in it.
A1: Are you going to add some experimental flavor in the next revolution?
Dr. G: You bet.
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