Thus Spoke the String Theory

Admin1: It seems that for the most famous Doctor of Philosophy Doctor Greene the words Universe and Cosmos are synonyms. The famous Doctor of Alphysics states that “during the last few years there has been tremendous progress in the search for the deepest laws governing the universe." Then he adds that “the next decade will be a formative time and holds the promise of fundamental breakthroughs in our understanding of the cosmos."

Doctor Gravytee: This is true in general for every Doctor of Alphysics who has achieved a certain degree of fame. Once you reach that level of fame you can define any two words to be synonyms at your will.

A1: Is there a difference anyway?

Dr. G: Cosmos is an old word. Cosmos is a defined universe.

A1: What does this mean?

Dr. G: Remember the scholastic hoax?

A1: Doctors of Alphysics make a definition and enforce it as the absolute true standard.

Dr. G: Yes. Branding has been the basic method of Scholastic Doctors since the beginning of history.

A1: The most famous Doctor Greene therefore defined a stringy cosmos and has been marketing it as the absolute true universe.

Dr. G: The slick marketing campaign conducted by global publishing houses sponsoring Doctor Greene makes it impossible for people to perceive the cosmogonic declarations of Doctor Greene as comical religious speculations. What is remarkable about the most famous Doctor Greene's statement is that it is boilerplate polemical sophistry used by politicians every day. Just change some words: "During the last few years there has been tremendous progress in our fight against poverty... The next decade will be a formative time and holds the promise of fundamental breakthroughs in our work to eradicate poverty as we know it." The most famous Doctor Greene has mastered the media relations quite well.

A1: Are you saying that Doctor Greene is a synonym for Shaman.

Dr. G: I used to think so. But now I am not so sure. A shaman is supposed to be an authoritative charlatan who entertains his constituency while supplying some useful physic.

A1: What is physic?

Dr. G: Physic is popularized alphysics. Think about snake oil.

A1: Ok. So, Doctor Greene is not even a shaman.

Dr. G: Doctor Greene has crossed over into entertainment and has gone physic. He is an entertainer in 10 dimensions and a shaman only in 1 dimension.

A1: And that dimension where he is a shaman is curled up in a matterless universe?

Dr. G: Thus spoke the String Theory therefore it must be true.