Hereditary Scientific Authority

Admin1: Doctors of Alphysics got the concept of measurement and its relation to science all wrong.

Doctor Gravytee: Doctors measure in impeccable precision what each other know. In this case knowledge refers to the legal code of alphysics usually abbreviated to alphysics. Doctors of Alphysics couldn't care less about the measurement of phenomena.

A1: Really?

Dr. G: Doctors enjoy hereditary scientific authority. This authority gives them unquestioned authority to define what science is. Therefore, they define whatever it is that they think would advance their career the fastest by selling the most books to be science.

A1: Doctors of Alphysics have the hereditary scientific authority to define and what is measured does not matter. They can define the measurement whatever they want it to be.

Dr. G: Exactly. If you have the heridetary authority to define what is measured why measure it in the first place? Why bother to make measurements? The scientific protocol requires that there exists some kind of measurement to save Newton's sacred authority. Newton defined Alphysics to be an experimental science, so we must not change the appearance of practicing an experimental science.

A1: I see. If the measurements of phenomena do not fit their career goals Doctors redefine the measurement to make nature agree with their career goals. This is an old trick of scholasticism. But why Doctors measure so precisely and obsessively each other's knowledge?

Dr. G: The measurement of what your colleagues know is necessary in order to move up in the shcolastic bureaucracy. All through their careers Doctors of Alphysics must pass standardized tests in order to move up on to the next level. As a Doctor moves up the scholastic ladder he earns more authority points. You can tell that a Doctor has arrived, more or less, when he starts to complain loudly about how many Doctoral students he has to supervise and how many requests for reviews he gets. This is all part of accummulating authority points.

A1: But observations show that some Doctors of Alphysics simply rocket through to the top of the hierarchy instead of climbing patiently the scholastic ladder according to the millennia old rules. How come?

Dr. G: The reason for this is usually explained by this formula:

A :: (R + S) * F^2

Clearly a Doctor who has very little rank and seniority but has fame would have the most authority. Rank and seniority being equal, perceived fame gains a Doctor the most authority.

A1: I see. This is why a Doctor, any Doctor, wouldn't hesitate a moment to sell his scientific soul in order to get a quote into the New York Times Science section.

Dr. G: It is a crooked game, yes. It's been dog eat dog in the scholastic business for a long time. Either you have authority or you don't . If you don't have authority you cannot get grants, cannot do research you want, cannot be published in top journals and New York Times won't be calling. Therefore, it is absolutely positively crucial to measure how much authority each Doctor has so that the pecking order is established correctly.

A1: It seems to me that Doctors' crooked ways do not stop with sanctifying the measurement of Doctoral authority and despising real data.

Dr. G: You are mistaking in that. Doctors never say they despise data. Data is sanctified so that the measurement of scholastic authority can be defined as science. You get it?

A1: Doctors defined the measurement of each others' authority to be science?

Dr. G: Just look how much time a Doctor of Alphysics spends on doing measurements of authority.

A1: Are you saying that Doctors of Alphysics turned scholastic arrogance and zealotry into an artform?

Dr. G: Doctors of Alphysics have been blocking the development of human knowledge since the beginning of history. This is our job. This is why we get paid for. It is nothing new. Get used to it.