Admin1: You chair the board of Institute for Simplification of Alphysics
Doctor Gravytee: The sub-committee on the preliminary report to the introduction of the principles of simplification of Alphysics has been putting the finishing touches on their report.
A1: If simplified Alphysics would get very boring. How do you propose to simplify without making Alphysics boring.
Dr. G: Simplification in Alphysics is a technical term that laymen may not easily grasp.
A1: Entropy rules Alphysics.
Dr. G: Well said. There has never been an Alphysical equation which did not become more complex upon simplification.
Showing posts with label Mathematics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mathematics. Show all posts
Monday, January 22, 2007
Monday, January 15, 2007
Mathematical Principles of Scientific Elegance
Admin1: Congratulations! Your new book Mathematical Principles of Scientific Elegance hit the bestseller lists.
Dr. Gravytee: Reader Beware: This a mathematical treatise there are no equations in this book.
A1: The Ministry of Definitions defined Mathematics = Equation.
Dr. G: Alphysical equation is a sophistical tool which is the opposite of mathematical precision. In my Principia I declare myself to be a contrarian Alphysicist: simple is elegant.
A1: Your Principia is to String Theory what iPhone is to Chartre Cathedral.
Dr. G: String theory defines baroque to be elegant. I say design is elegant not decoratively monstrous.
Dr. Gravytee: Reader Beware: This a mathematical treatise there are no equations in this book.
A1: The Ministry of Definitions defined Mathematics = Equation.
Dr. G: Alphysical equation is a sophistical tool which is the opposite of mathematical precision. In my Principia I declare myself to be a contrarian Alphysicist: simple is elegant.
A1: Your Principia is to String Theory what iPhone is to Chartre Cathedral.
Dr. G: String theory defines baroque to be elegant. I say design is elegant not decoratively monstrous.
Monday, January 08, 2007
God and Mathematics
Admin1: Where does mathematics end and algorithm start?
Dr. Gravytee: Mathematics is owned. Algorithm is not.
A1: There are algorithms which are owned.
Dr. G: Owners of algorithms always call them mathematics.
A1: Mathematics is the scholastic baroque decorations on an algorithm.
Dr. G: Mathematics is like art. Mathematics is what a mathematician does.
A1: That goes for Alphysics too.
Dr. G: The importance of mathematics lies in the fact that we use it as authority.
A1: Mathematics is an authority much like God.
Dr. G: Our brother Doctors of Theology use the word God as their final authority. We the Doctors of Alphysics use Mathematics as our authority. Many people who have no fear of God are horrified by mathematics. They are our constituency.
Dr. Gravytee: Mathematics is owned. Algorithm is not.
A1: There are algorithms which are owned.
Dr. G: Owners of algorithms always call them mathematics.
A1: Mathematics is the scholastic baroque decorations on an algorithm.
Dr. G: Mathematics is like art. Mathematics is what a mathematician does.
A1: That goes for Alphysics too.
Dr. G: The importance of mathematics lies in the fact that we use it as authority.
A1: Mathematics is an authority much like God.
Dr. G: Our brother Doctors of Theology use the word God as their final authority. We the Doctors of Alphysics use Mathematics as our authority. Many people who have no fear of God are horrified by mathematics. They are our constituency.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Mathematical polemics
Admin1: Doctors of Alphysics Latinized mathematics.
Doctor Gravytee: Doctors of Alphysics made science social science. Mathematics is their Latin.
A1: Now I see. It was only yesterday teaching of Latin was glorified as the fundamental source of knowledge. Mathematics replaced Latin as the source of knowledge. Then Doctors of Alphysics turned mathematics into social science.
Doctor Gravytee: You need to be careful. You may be insulting Doctors of Alphysics. Social Science is science whether it is social or not. Alphysics is not science and it will never be.
A1: How do you define mathematics in Alphysics?
Dr. G: Mathematics in Alphysics is a word which starts with M therefore it is extremely well defined and well-known.
A1: You mean it is undefined like M-Theory.
Dr. G: M-Theory is not undefined. You are missing the important but subtle detail. Mathematics is multiply defined.
A1: Mathematics means whatever Doctors of Alphysics want it to mean.
Dr. G: Exactly.
Doctor Gravytee: Doctors of Alphysics made science social science. Mathematics is their Latin.
A1: Now I see. It was only yesterday teaching of Latin was glorified as the fundamental source of knowledge. Mathematics replaced Latin as the source of knowledge. Then Doctors of Alphysics turned mathematics into social science.
Doctor Gravytee: You need to be careful. You may be insulting Doctors of Alphysics. Social Science is science whether it is social or not. Alphysics is not science and it will never be.
A1: How do you define mathematics in Alphysics?
Dr. G: Mathematics in Alphysics is a word which starts with M therefore it is extremely well defined and well-known.
A1: You mean it is undefined like M-Theory.
Dr. G: M-Theory is not undefined. You are missing the important but subtle detail. Mathematics is multiply defined.
A1: Mathematics means whatever Doctors of Alphysics want it to mean.
Dr. G: Exactly.
Monday, October 09, 2006
The separation of data from its display
Admin1: XML documents do not carry information about how to display data.
Dr. Gravytee: This is very unelegant and it won't be acceptable in Alphysics circles.
A1: Single XML tags are invented by the author of the XML document, browsers do not know if a tag like *table* describes an HTML table or a dining table.
Dr. G: In Alphysics a word *word* describes any word defined by the Doctor in that namespace.
A1: This is confusing. String Theory does not conform to namespace.
Dr. G: *namespace* is a word. Therefore, in Alphysics *namespace* means whatever I say it means now. Few minutes later I will use *namespace* to mean its opposite.
A1: So in Alphysics *table* means a dining table and an HTML table.
Dr. G: Centuries ago, when mathematics was a new topic and Doctors were inventing its rules displaying mathematics was through geometry. Today mathematical displays are pictorial.
A1: Therefore, in Alphysics mathematical displays are not mathematical but pictorial and polemical.
Dr. G: Surely. Nature spared us from the ubiquitous photoshop ball stretching the fabric of spacetimes. Such a thing does not exist in nature. Both spacetimes and its fabric and the photoshop ball are elegant branding.
A1: Very Confucian.
Dr. G: Confucius fought hard against the Doctors of Alphysics of his time to rectify the language so that table meant table but he did not succeed. After Confucius many have tried. They all failed. In the 17th century Fermat tried to rectify geometry in order to remove all the scholastic and Alphysical layers of junk Doctors added on geometrical figures in order to corrupt geometry so that they can use the authority of geometry to further their careers. Fermat too failed.
Dr. Gravytee: This is very unelegant and it won't be acceptable in Alphysics circles.
A1: Single XML tags are invented by the author of the XML document, browsers do not know if a tag like *table* describes an HTML table or a dining table.
Dr. G: In Alphysics a word *word* describes any word defined by the Doctor in that namespace.
A1: This is confusing. String Theory does not conform to namespace.
Dr. G: *namespace* is a word. Therefore, in Alphysics *namespace* means whatever I say it means now. Few minutes later I will use *namespace* to mean its opposite.
A1: So in Alphysics *table* means a dining table and an HTML table.
Dr. G: Centuries ago, when mathematics was a new topic and Doctors were inventing its rules displaying mathematics was through geometry. Today mathematical displays are pictorial.
A1: Therefore, in Alphysics mathematical displays are not mathematical but pictorial and polemical.
Dr. G: Surely. Nature spared us from the ubiquitous photoshop ball stretching the fabric of spacetimes. Such a thing does not exist in nature. Both spacetimes and its fabric and the photoshop ball are elegant branding.
A1: Very Confucian.
Dr. G: Confucius fought hard against the Doctors of Alphysics of his time to rectify the language so that table meant table but he did not succeed. After Confucius many have tried. They all failed. In the 17th century Fermat tried to rectify geometry in order to remove all the scholastic and Alphysical layers of junk Doctors added on geometrical figures in order to corrupt geometry so that they can use the authority of geometry to further their careers. Fermat too failed.
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Is Alphysics legal
Admin1: What Latin is to Law Mathematics is to Alphysics.
Doctor Gravytee: Exactly. In Alphysics we use
- specialized words and phrases unique or nearly unique to Alphysics, such as, "it is easy to prove that..." and "it is well known that...." "we have proved in our previous paper that..."
- everyday English words that when used in Alphysics have different meanings from everyday usage, such as action, string, force, to know, everything, zero, one, equal to... the list goes on and on. We actively and explicitly corrupt the English language and we are very proud of it.
- archaic vocabulary. Alphysics employs a fairly large number of outdated words and phrases that were formerly part of everyday English but are today rare except in Alphysics. Most of them date from the 17th century. Most are long abandoned outside Alphysics. The entirety of almathematics can be cited as example of archaic vocabulary.
- loan words and phrases from other languages: in this category are terms derived from German and the mechanism in German of combining words to make a new word, most famous example of which is the spacetime.
A1: There is a need for Plain English movement in Alphysics too.
Dr. G: There is no such need. Archaism is an essential ingredient of Alphysics. Legalese is bad but Alphysics is twice as bad as legalese but we market our brand so well that Alphysics stands for Science.
A1: Alphysics = Legalese?
Dr. G: No. Alphysics = 2Legalese. Legal professionals are totally ignorant of marketing. They think marketing is bad and they do not protect their brand. We use the legalistic archaic obscurantism we call Alphysics to obtain six-figure book contracts in order to explain what we obscure.
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Bugs are features of the Theory
Admin1: Then, what is mathematics?
Dr. Gravytee: Mathematics is the XML of the 17th century.
A1: Or was.
Dr. G: Yes. Was. Today's mathematics has no error that is why mathematics is so bloated.
A1: Alphysics is doubly bloated.
Dr. G: In XML the program does not continue to process when it finds an error. But with HTML it is possible to create documents with lots of errors. This is the reason why HTML browsers are so bloated and why they are so incompatible. Each browser has its own way of figuring out what a document should look like when it encounters an HTML error.
A1: Wow! It's like, I mean, browsers are Doctors of Alphysics!
Dr. G: In Alphysics each Doctor of Alphysics has his own way of defining his own favorite Universe. And each of these Universes are based on an error in mathematics.
A1: For example, division by zero became the famous black hole!
Dr. G: You see why Doctors of Alphysics will never give up their authority over mathematics. If and when Doctors of Alphysics give up their authority over mathematics and, say, chose XML as their professional language they will no longer be able to invent absurdities based on linguistic abuse and sell them as true science in bestselling books.
A1: That's a scary thought. But it will never happen.
Dr. G: True. It will never happen. Once a bureaucracy is created, and in this case it is a lucrative bureaucracy feeding the giant entertainment industry, it will never go away. Never.
A1: But it will change its name.
Dr. G: Yes.
Dr. Gravytee: Mathematics is the XML of the 17th century.
A1: Or was.
Dr. G: Yes. Was. Today's mathematics has no error that is why mathematics is so bloated.
A1: Alphysics is doubly bloated.
Dr. G: In XML the program does not continue to process when it finds an error. But with HTML it is possible to create documents with lots of errors. This is the reason why HTML browsers are so bloated and why they are so incompatible. Each browser has its own way of figuring out what a document should look like when it encounters an HTML error.
A1: Wow! It's like, I mean, browsers are Doctors of Alphysics!
Dr. G: In Alphysics each Doctor of Alphysics has his own way of defining his own favorite Universe. And each of these Universes are based on an error in mathematics.
A1: For example, division by zero became the famous black hole!
Dr. G: You see why Doctors of Alphysics will never give up their authority over mathematics. If and when Doctors of Alphysics give up their authority over mathematics and, say, chose XML as their professional language they will no longer be able to invent absurdities based on linguistic abuse and sell them as true science in bestselling books.
A1: That's a scary thought. But it will never happen.
Dr. G: True. It will never happen. Once a bureaucracy is created, and in this case it is a lucrative bureaucracy feeding the giant entertainment industry, it will never go away. Never.
A1: But it will change its name.
Dr. G: Yes.
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